our free dating advice booklet

Welcome to the Ultimate
Ladies Night! We hope
you enjoy the show and
your Dating Q&A with our
relationship expert, Kate
Taylor. To ensure you don’t
forget any of the great advice
you hear tonight, here’s our
Little Book of Tips to take
How to choose the
perfect profile photos
How to write a profile
that gets results
Boosting your views
How to get dates
Further reading
Online dating is a visual
medium. Choosing the best
photographs puts you ahead
of the competition. No
amount of witty text makes
up for an unflattering picture!
Our research shows that
some photos work better
than others.
of cleavage receive more emails
than women the same age who
don’t. Under 30, cleavage has no
Good Photos
Bad photos
A Flirty Selfie
We hate selfies too but they work
surprisingly well online. But you
must flirt into the camera – looking
seductively away from the lens seems
to put men off.
Wearing sunglasses, standing too
far away from the camera, and
group photos all score badly online.
Summery photos
People seen in summery photos
were regarded as more attractive,
more sociable and even healthier
than the same people in wintery
An Interesting Hobby
If you want to initiate conversations
online, include a photo of you
engaged in an interesting activity. For
example, playing an instrument or a
sport, visiting an exotic destination,
riding a horse, jumping out of a
plane… These pictures make it easy
for someone to start talking to you.
The least successful photos in an
online-dating profile are of someone drinking alcohol. Put down the
glass. Step away from the cocktail.
A Touch of Cleavage
Women over 30 who show just a hint
The best profiles are upbeat,
light-hearted, and read like
you’re talking to someone.
They’re also brief – around 250
words. (Men prefer reading
short profiles.) Write it in a
word-processing document
first, turn off Caps Lock, and
don’t forget to spell-check.
marital status, age, and body type.
The main reason first dates don’t
lead to second dates is “unmet
expectations”, so make sure your
profile and pictures advertise you as
you are today.
Sociable Hobbies
Reading your profile, men will form a
picture of what life would be like as
your boyfriend. Help them see you in
a fun, companionable light: mention
your sociable hobbies (live music,
restaurants, seeing family, going to
parties or the cinema) rather than
just your solitary passions (reading,
Internet, gym, writing).
Power Words
The most successful female profiles
had some words in common.
We’re researching whether or not
these words actually create more
responses. Try them for yourself and
see! The words are Yoga, London,
Gaming, Comedy and Hiking.
What you’re Looking For…
Don’t state you’re looking for love,
commitment, and to settle down. It
might be the truth, but would you say
that to someone you met in a bar? It’s
too indiscriminate! There’s no need
to mention your intentions yet. In the
drop-down menu, choose “Let’s see
what happens”.
What’s the hottest
personality trait most men
are looking for?
Show yours in your profile
(mention your volunteer work,
charity runs, or how you love
spending time with family).
Be truthful
Be honest about your children,
To reach more people, you can
buy Boosts which increase the
number of men who receive
your details. These are an
inexpensive way to give Cupid
a nudge. There are also other
things you can do to make the
most of match.com…
Check out members who are ‘Online
Stop by the profiles of members who
are currently online. They’ll see a
little notification that you’re browsing
their profile, and will come and check
yours out in return. This, and adding
members to your Favourites list, are
low-key ways of showing interest if
you’re too shy to Wink or message
Stay active
Logging in every day keeps you seen
as an Active member, and will keep
you at the top of men’s search lists.
Drop by every day (loading the Match
app makes this very convenient –
check your Daily 6 on the bus!) even
if you don’t have time to reply to
What percentage of emails do
men and women reply to?
Tweak Your Profile
See your page as a living work in
progress. Whenever you edit anything
(even if it’s just to switch photos
around, or correct your spelling),
the Match computer sees you as a
new member again, and sends your
profile out to other members.
Show yours in your profile
(mention your volunteer work,
charity runs, or how you love
spending time with family).
You didn’t join Match.com to
get penpals – you want dates!
Here are some tips to ensure
your calendar stays full.
looking for. Less information is more
– if he wants to know your earliest
childhood memory, let him ask you
over a drink. Similarly, don’t feel you
have to answer every question. If
something feels too personal, skip
straight past it.
Don’t email forever
Don’t exchange 16,034,895 emails
or IMs with a guy in the hopes that
the NEXT message will be the one
suggesting a date. Sometimes, the
less he hears from you online, the
more keen he’ll be to meet in person.
After 9 or 10 messages, skip a reply.
See if that gives him a nudge.
Accept most invitations
When women tell me nobody’s asking
them out, it always means, “The men
I fancy aren’t asking me out”. When I
dig deeper, it usually transpires that
they’ve had a quarter of a million date
requests in their inbox, but they’re not
sure about the men. If a man seems
normal, nice and has no glaring red
flags, meet for a coffee. Do it! Getting
out and about will boost your spirits,
give you dating practise, and you
might be very pleasantly surprised…
Be online unpredictably
If a man knows you’ll be logging in
faithfully at 6pm to hear about his
day, he can quickly put you into the
role of Surrogate Girlfriend. Before
you’ve met, that’s way too predictable.
Come and go off the site at different
times – one day before work, the
next at lunchtime. (NEVER on Friday
or Saturday nights.) It suggests you
have a full and busy life and will make
men more motivated to secure your
attention offline.
Should you ask him out?
If you want a “traditional” relationship,
where you’re the one being cherished,
pampered and courted, don’t initiate
the first date. Whoever first asks for
a date adopts the “masculine” role of
pursuer, forever. However, if you’re
happy being the leader in love, ask
Don’t write epic messages
Aim for “intrigue” rather than “full
disclosure”. Keep a few things back.
You’re not obliged to tell anyone
what you did all day, or how you
feel about marriage, or what you’re
Of men will text a
woman within 24 hours
of a great first date.
For more advice on every aspect of dating, check
out our features on
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