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2 | Corvallis Advocate
March 15
April 19
May 17
March 5-12, 2015
What’s Inside This Week?
Assoc. Editor
Tsunami Model Anticlimax; TouchyFeely Backwash; Corvallis Love Forum
Kinda Thing; Sustainability Fair Kids
As the State Turns
‘91 Lincoln Meets Green Machines
Little-Known OSU Emergency Food
Pantry Gets National Attention
Two Guys Talk, Stray Dog Policy
12 8 Days
Steven J. Schultz
Johnny Beaver
City Editor
Denise Ruttan
Ygal Kaufman
Johnny Beaver
Sidney Reilly
Dave DeLuca
Elizabeth Arthur
Maggie Nelson
Kristen Allen
Christian Smith
Ygal Kaufman
Bobbi Dickerson
Sam Schultz
15 Hard Truths
Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339
541.766.3675 |
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accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that
not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials.
Corvallis Advocate | 3
Tsunami’s CominOSU
’ Researchers Model River Impacts
By Sidney Reilly
By Johnny Beaver
Special Edition
In Defense of Library
endra Sunderland, the woman
media outlets insist on degrading
by calling “Library Girl,” has pleaded
not guilty, claiming that the video was
recorded and released without her
consent. Is that a great legal defense?
Not really, considering the crime was
the fact that she did it, not that it
was recorded. But it’s an incredibly
important point to make, because
the deeper issue we should be looking
at here has nothing to do with the
library and everything to do with how
a woman is being treated because of
the cultural context of the crime she’s
accused of.
What was once one video is now well
over a dozen because her identity
went national and anyone in possession
of a cam feed recording of her has
re-uploaded them with her name
attached. Pornographic actors and
actresses have long used pseudonyms
to protect themselves from this kind
of breach despite their work being
completely legal, yet our culture feels
the need to victimize them further once
they’ve been outed.
Personally, as someone who has sworn
allegiance to individualize sovereignty,
the entire thing makes me sick to my
stomach. I find it impossibly frustrating
that the media has avoided the
issue altogether and all school and
city officials have done is the public
relations pee-pee dance. You’d think
those fancy master’s degrees would
get you a rhetoric more than one step
above the commenter on the GazetteTimes joking about how her lawyer
should “drill his client a little better. HA
The important thing happening here is
that a woman’s life has been turned
upside down through no fault of her
own, but we’re all too fixated on a pair
of exposed breasts in the OSU library to
address it. Par for the course in a society
that hates women.
4 | Corvallis Advocate
ver since the tsunami that hit
Japan caused a gate over hell
to open and nuclear-tainted sushi
to roam free across the planet,
Oregonians have been bracing
themselves for the possibility of one
hitting here. Good news, doomsday
preppers: a team of engineers at
OSU have just released what they’re
calling “one of the most precise
evaluations” yet on the effects of a
tsunami hitting the Columbia River.
David Hill, an associate professor
of civil engineering at OSU and one
of the authors of the study, noted
their surprise at discovering that
the tides were much more important
to the potential damage than the
amount of water flowing in the river.
“The maximum reach of a tsunami
on the Columbia will be based on the
tidal level at the time, and of course
This is all good news, and the best
part is that it’s more reliable good
news than we’ve ever had before
on the subject, due to the extensive
research by the team at OSU.
the magnitude of the earthquake
causing the event,” Hill commented
in a press release.
The main bullet points are:
• Water level increase of about 11.5
to 13 feet just offshore.
• 25 miles downriver, near Welch
Island, water would rise only
about 1.6 feet.
• 50 miles in, near Longview, WA,
water would have no measurable
“There have been previous models
of Columbia River run-up as a
result of a tsunami, but they had
less resolution than this work,”
said Hill in the press release. “We
carefully considered the complex
hydrodynamics, subsidence of
grounds that a tsunami might cause,
and the impacts during different
The flood maps they created with
this research can now help land
owners and land use planners make
preparations for such an event,
which hopefully will not happen
until after I’ve moved away.
New Kids’ Offering at 2015
Sustainability Fair
Free Admission, Preregistration Requested
By Dave Deluca
his year’s Sustainability Fair
and Town Hall promises to be
more family-friendly than ever. For
the first time, the event will include
a Kids’ Activity Room. Corvallis’
youngest citizens will have fun as
they learn about connecting to the
community, and the Earth. Children
of all ages will enjoy a bountiful
spread provided by Valley Catering.
The gypsy-inspired folk music of
String Rain will delight attendees as
they tour the many exhibits.
After the fair, a town hall meeting
will feature keynote
speaker Sean
McGuire. An expert on
well-being indicators,
McGuire will focus
on measuring
true economic,
environmental, and
social health as a community.
are encouraged to arrive on foot, by
bike, by bus, or by
The entire evening will be a model
sustainable event, and attendees
The event is on
Thursday, March
12 from 5 to 9 p.m.
at the CMCH Hill
Alumni Center, 725
SW 26th Street. Register for the town
hall by Monday, March 9 at www. Admission
is free.
What Are You Doing Here?
By Elizabeth Arthur
e honest, would you stay here
in Corvallis if you won the
lottery? The question seems simple
enough, but it turns out to have
several moving
parts, from
to job prospects
and medical
Forum Asks Corvallisites What They Like, Want
care, and quite a bit in between—so
City Club of Corvallis has teamed
with the League of Women Voters
for a moderated town hall of sorts on
this whole subject.
According to City Club,
“The goal: articulate
grass roots priorities for
community livability.
By gathering residents
to describe what makes
Corvallis a great place to
live and documenting the features
that we value, these organizations
will help set the stage for further
consideration of a vision for the
city’s future.”
The forum is on Monday, March
9 from noon to 1:10 p.m. in the
Gerding Builders Gym of the
Corvallis Boys & Girls Club.
Attendance is free and open to the
As the State Turns
By Johnny Beaver
Disaster Movie Cost Fun, Too Lit Up Maybe, and Other Miscellany
Poltergeist V or Jaws VII or
Cover Oregon
Just when you thought it was safe
to read “As the State Turns”...
I have more to say about Cover
Oregon. Though the corporation
that runs the failed hack job of
a health care exchange is being
dissolved in a vat of acid as we
speak, it’ll be leaving a snail trail
of debt behind it—to the tune of
hundreds of millions of dollars.
And just to pour salt in the wound,
millions of that are tied to legal
costs and other random nonsense.
If you recall, $300 million alone
was borrowed from the feds to fire
the damn thing up, not to mention
another $26 million in state
money. And we can’t forget that $3
million of that went to those awful
hipster commercials, as well as
the billboards (but I won’t pick on
those because I liked them... media
bias at work!).
So where did other chunks of
the money go?
• $240 million went to Oracle,
the company that developed the
exchange website.
• $9.1 million was spent hiring a
ton of people to process paper
applications by hand when the
exchange wasn’t working.
• $1 million was paid to First
Data’s useless assessment of the
system and Clyde Hamstreet’s
Super Ultra Turnaround Team
that, coincidentally, was also
• $1.9 million paid attorneys to
threaten Oracle’s attorneys.
• $6.6 million was spent on
an assessment of the broken
exchange and suggestions about
how to get the horizontal mambo
with the federal exchange going.
• $23 million went to some other
failed stuff that’s too depressing
to talk about.
And let’s not forget, that’s the
snail, not the trail. What’s to come
has a lot of unknowns attached to
it, but will undoubtedly total in the
tens of millions. If the state goes
for the jugular in court against
Oracle, the financial burdens
might go poof in an explosion of
smoke and the $5.5 billion they’re
asking for... but I’m not planning
on holding my breath.
Weed vs. Electricity: The Battle
of Ashland
Indoor pot operations threaten
to jack electricity prices up in
Ashland, which has some residents
feeling a little... stoned. Okay, that
didn’t work. I just really wanted to
use a pun.
Oregon’s favorite little “I’ve heard
of it but I’ve never been” attraction,
Ashland is on a system where the
city purchases power from the
Bonneville Power Administration.
With extremely power-hungry
grow houses poised to crop up as
soon as pot legalization is given
the full green light, citizens
and officials are afraid that the
increased consumption will bump
them up from a Tier 1 consumer to
a Tier 2 consumer with the power
administration, which would come
action-packed with rate hikes.
City administrator Dave Kanner
has informed the city that he will
be presenting them with proposals
to help meet the issue head on, but
no direct plan has been detailed as
of yet. One possible solution, even
if it is just partial, likely lies within
standards for lighting, heating,
ventilation, and the like, forcing
growers to use power-saving
When asked for comment, one
anonymous grower merely said,
“Gnarly.” Good lord, I am not
funny today at all.
Tidbits, Anyone?
The snow depth at Crater Lake
has hit a record low, despite being
at 104% of its normal precipitation.
The reason? It has been warmer
out. Please, please, take a moment
to step back and calm your nerves.
I know this was shocking.
Multnomah County reports a
total of 240 cases of syphilis
in 2013, which is several times
more than was reported just a few
years earlier. In fact, the disease
was almost completely wiped
out on a national scale before
2000. Now that it’s making a big
comeback, we can only imagine
that it has something to do with
the millennials’ obsession with
everything “retro.”
Portland city leaders are about
to get a face full of “Ban the Box,” a
that has been
campaigning to
remove the “Have you
been convicted of a felony?”
question from all job applications
in the city. Considering our
country’s entire penal philosophy
is that of rehabilitation, it might
be nice for those who have served
their time to actually stand a
chance at finding a job. There is, of
course, bickering about minutiae
on both sides (okay, only the
opposition’s side), but c’est la vie.
I’ve personally seen a few people
get completely boned by the system
and suffer for it for many years
after their release, so I can only
imagine how often this goes on
across the country. Hell, I’ve had
huge difficulty finding part-time
work and I’m squeaky clean. And
charming as hell.
Bill Currier was selected to be
the new chairman of the Oregon
Republican Party. And that’s
literally the extent of how much
anyone cares about that.
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Corvallis Advocate | 5
Cars: Hybrids andMyan
lectric Compared
’91 Lincoln Wasn’t Self-Conscious… No, Not at All
By Maggie Nelson
Honda Fit EV
Ford Fusion Hybrid
etting out to find the best hybrid
or fully electric vehicles available
on the Corvallis new car market, my
trusty ’91 Lincoln Town Car and I
had been tasked by some editorial
dice roll to follow two rules in our
search: to only consider cars available
locally, and further to select the most
efficient model on each lot.
gallon less on average than the Civic,
and they both get a city average of 44
miles per gallon. I prefer the drive of
the Fusion overall, based mainly on
I started with the Honda Civic and
meandered all the way to a fully
electric Nissan Leaf. On the way, I
tested the Ford Fusion, the Prius and
Prius C, and finally the Volkswagen
Jetta Hybrid. There are other hybrids
available in Corvallis, but I included
only those which achieved the highest
miles per gallon offered on each lot.
I did a simple assessment based
mainly on style, comfort, handling,
and agility.
Honda Gadget Love
Although no longer available to
lease, I got to ride in the owner of
University Honda’s personal Honda
Fit EV, which was disappointingly
less like a spaceship and more just
like a human-sized RC car. The
Civic Hybrid however, had the most
intriguing gadgets and gizmos of all
Toyota Prius
the green cars I test drove here in
Corvallis. The 2014 Civic Hybrid gets
a combined city and highway average
of 45 miles per gallon, and has a
sportier look to it than most hybrids.
The brakes seemed to be a tad on the
touchier side and the blind spots were
rather egregious, but the Civic made
up for these downfalls with a nifty
passenger-side camera, known as the
LaneWatch. As you signal to turn,
this camera turns on, displaying all
the pesky areas you can’t see in the
mirror or in your peripheral vision.
For a place like Corvallis, where
bicyclists run rampant, some obeying
traffic laws and others cycling under
prison rules, this sort of camera truly
comes in handy.
Ford Luxo-Shark Comfort
Next I hit up Ford and checked out
the Fusion Hybrid. This hybrid
seems to be marketed toward
the ultra-macho but ecologically
attentive community in fear of being
emasculated by the other Priusstyle hybrids. It doesn’t conform to
the aerospace, turtle shape of many
hybrids, and instead resembles
something more aggressive,
somewhat shark-like. Although
seemingly more like a luxury sedan
in build, in terms of leg space,
especially in the backseat, the Fusion
seems much snugger than the Civic
and Prius. It only gets 3 miles per
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6 | Corvallis Advocate
Toyota Gets Cargo Space Gold
While the Prius C will never be much
of a “grocery getter” and had a bit of a
cheap feel to it, there’s no ignoring its
combined city and highway rating of
50 miles per gallon. I would suggest a
little more patience with the C when
accelerating onto highways. It’s a bit
sluggish, even compared to Eco Mode
in the Leaf. The Prius has the same
average miles per gallon as the C, but
scores much higher on the comfort
and interior style scale. I found the
gas/electric display of the Prius to be
a bit unnecessary and distracting. At
times I found myself playing a game
trying to only light up the battery
section of the electronic display car
on the console, rather than trying to
stay on the road. I’d say the Prius
takes the gold for extra cargo space
and roominess, but lags far behind
in style. I also felt the Prius lacked
in agility compared to some of the
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219 SW 2nd, Downtown Corvallis
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By Kirsten Allen
Tricycle Hybrid a Corvallis
Commute OptionAsk the Guy That Owns One
Volkswagen Jetta Hybrid
Nissan Leaf
VW’s Sporty Handling Plus
Where all of the other vehicles I
saw were wanting in cuteness,
the Volkswagen Jetta Hybrid
compensated for its competitors.
This vehicle seems to be aimed at
a younger market with its sportier
feel and peppy handling. It can
certainly compete at an average of
45 miles per gallon, but costs a bit
more in comparison to its hybrid
counterparts with a sticker price of
just a dash over $32,000. Despite
the higher price, I continually found
myself returning to this one, quite
possibly because of the genuine and
surprisingly non-villainous sales
reps I encountered at the dealership,
but more likely because of the style,
smooth transitioning, and agility.
Not to mention, I won’t actually be
dropping any real dough on this
vehicle—I am a writer, after all.
surprisingly simple to navigate.
However, I didn’t feel nearly as
akin to an Australian fairy working
to save my beloved FernGully as I
hoped I would. Perhaps if my drab
salesman were more of a kooky
Robin Williams character, I could
have better entertained the fantasy.
Outlandish expectations aside, the
Leaf had decent get up and go, unless
switched to Eco Mode, which is a
battery-saving drive mode. I test
drove the 2015 Leaf S, which gets a
combined city and highway average
of 114 miles per gallon gasoline
equivalent. The Leaf gets an average
range of about 84 miles per charge,
and can be fully recharged in about
five hours with a 240 volt charger.
If you drive primarily in town and
can bring yourself to drive a car
reminiscent of a Pokemon character,
then the Leaf seems to be a pretty
smart investment.
Nissan Offers Fully Electric Leaf
As I pulled up to these dealerships
in my Detroit parade float, I got
more than a few second glances. In
fact, while nearly laying frame in
the Keiffer Nissan lot, a few lovely
salesmen emerged from their cozy
office chairs just to step outside and
throw a couple pesky remarks my
way. My predetermined impressions
of driving the Nissan Leaf were not
terribly far off from the real thing.
It’s smooth, quiet, peaceful, and
According to my painstakingly
scientific testing, or lack of a quick
dodge in an editorial meeting, these
are the top hybrid and electric cars on
the Corvallis market today. What it
comes down to is lifestyle and budget.
As for me, street cred is a much
higher priority than gas mileage, or
more truthfully, because my humble
writer’s budget can’t allow for such
extravagances at this time, I’ll have
to stick with my trusty Town Car.
orvallisite Jerry Rooney has
taken the Smart Car idea to a
new level: he is the proud owner
of an ELF tricycle. The
ELF is a pedal, solar,
and electric hybrid,
traveling at top speeds
of 20 miles per hour
and weighing about
150 pounds. The ELF
can be powered by
pedaling or by running
the electric motor,
which has a 14-mile range when run
continuously. When Rooney initially
purchased the ELF, the tricycle
cost $4,000 as a special Kickstarter
incentive. Today, the cost is around
Manufactured in Durham, North
Carolina by Organic Transit, the ELF
bike is legally allowed anywhere
a bike can go. Equipped with a
protective shell, headlights, side
mirrors, brake, and turn signals,
the ELF bike proves spacious, and
in Rooney’s opinion, safer than a
bicycle due to increased visibility.
Rooney has been an avid bike rider
for many years, and
strongly believes that
anybody who is able
to should “get around
on their own will.”
Rooney is pleased
with the comfort and
convenience his ELF
provides, and has had
only a few issues with
maintenance and durability.
Upon purchase, the ELF is shipped
from Durham, a process that
can take up to seven months.
Although the wait time may be a
bit dismaying, the benefits of the
ELF are undeniable. The ELF has zero
emissions, shelters the driver from the
weather, and provides exercise to
the extent that one pedals. In a city
such as Corvallis, known for its bike
friendliness, you may start seeing
more of these.
Les Misérables
May 8 - 24th
$20 - 25
Mother’s Day
Special Event
Tickets: $25 - 30
includes desserts & beverages
Corvallis Advocate | 7
Little-Known OSU Emergency Food Pantry
Gets National Attention
There Is a Free Lunch… Breakfast and Dinner, Too
Words by Christian Smith and Photos by Lauren Nichols
ith online access codes,
ridiculous parking rates, and
the increasingly overpriced oncampus stores, it is becoming more
and more difficult for some students
to cover basic necessities. Though gas
prices are thankfully down for the
moment, food costs continue to rise
globally. Eating instant noodles every
night of the week is a surprisingly
viable option when faced with a choice
between healthy food or student
loan payments. Luckily, student
volunteers have taken the initiative
to alleviate the problem a bit here in
distributions only twice per month,
usually on a Monday or Wednesday
(with some exceptions). This might
seem to lessen the “emergency”
nature of the pantry, though they do
have an additional system in place to
account for this. From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
on normal weekdays you can head to
Snell Hall Room 233 where they keep
a few nonperishable items handy for
students who find themselves in a
pinch. Since the organization is run
by students who work on a volunteer
basis, it is limited by a shortage of
funding and resources that would
allow the pantry to be fully open more
often. Funding comes mostly from
regular donations and fundraisers at
this time.
Located on campus at OSU’s Snell
Hall/MU East International Forum,
the Emergency Food Pantry is an
invaluable resource for Corvallis
residents with food insecurity. Run
by students, and in collaboration with
Linn-Benton Food Share and the
Oregon State University Foundation,
the pantry provides food that is free,
safe, and easily accessible to those in
need. Food is prepared off-site, then
organized at the pantry inside cooled,
frozen, and dry rooms. Participants
are given snacks and videos to watch
while they wait in line.
Although the pantry aims to be a
highly charitable function for the
community, it is still a relatively
unknown resource compared to other
campus programs such as student
tutoring or the Counseling and
Psychological Services (CAPS), which
garner more consistent publicity.
The pantry office receives many calls
from other schools asking about
their process and model. There is
apparently some appreciation for
the program across the nation and
even internationally, with at least
one South Korean school expressing
interest. A more widespread and
larger Emergency Food Pantry
initiative could very well attain
greater funding and much-needed
publicity for this type of student-run
Anywhere from 50 to 150 households
are supported by this initiative,
depending on the time of year and
whether the school term is in session.
It has previously been featured
fall in love with print.
make an impression.
Magazines . Newspapers
Mailing Services . Graphic Design
8 | Corvallis Advocate
in both The Barometer and The
Oregonian, but it has been awhile.
Rather than a full-time program,
the pantry is open for its main food
The next openings of the OSU
Emergency Food Pantry are on
Monday, March 9 and Wednesday,
March 25; bring a bag. Feel free to
stop by, as it is open to Corvallis
students and non-students alike.
Sheriff’s Department Closes Loophole
By Dave Deluca
Deputy and Reporter Talk Stray Dogs, Policy Changes
was taking my dog for a walk
on a recent afternoon when two
unfamiliar pooches joined us from
parts unknown. Unfortunately,
Brown and White, as I would come
to call them, had no tags. In my
experience, most strays will find
their way home. But these two were
more interested in following me to
So, I dropped off my own pup at
home and grabbed two leashes.
We walked the neighborhood. But
Brown and White didn’t lead me to
any open gates, and no neighbors
recognized the pair. We headed
back to my house, but my pooch
made it clear she would not be
allowing any strays into her house.
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I called Animal Control and got a
Corvallis Police Department (CPD)
operator, and was informed that
the Animal Control officer was off
duty until morning. I explained
that I could not keep the strays at
my house. The operator advised me
to “let them go, and hope that they
find their way home.”
Flustered, I called the nonemergency number for the Benton
County Sheriff’s Office (BCSO).
This operator gave me the same
answer. She explained that the
BCSO Animal Control officer, even
if she were on duty, would not pick
up a stray within city limits.
As luck would have it, I had
previously interviewed Animal
Control officers Michele Tracy
(CPD) and Erica O’Neil (BCSO)
for a different article. According to
both officers, CPD and BCSO have
access to Animal Control vehicles
and equipment when they are off
duty. Both departments also have
24/7 access to Heartland Humane
Society, where stray and dangerous
animals are kenneled. In cases
when an animal is dangerous but
Animal Control is off duty, a police
officer or sheriff’s deputy will
But on this day, I was being
advised to put these two stray
dogs into a potentially dangerous
situation, releasing them to fend for
I have since reached out to both
CPD and BCSO to clarify their
policies. Corvallis Police Lt. Cord
Wood confirmed the policy of his
department, which he referred to as
a “community policing” approach.
During Animal Control off-hours,
they advise callers to deliver the
animals to Heartland or keep them
until Animal Control comes back
on duty. There is no third option.
Wood confirmed that CPD will not
send an officer unless the dog is
He pointed out that CPD would love
to have a full-time Animal Control
officer, but only has the budget for
their current part-time position.
“We do the best we can with the
resources we have,” Wood said.
BCSO Sgt. Randy Hiner stated
that deputies do pick up strays,
even when Animal Control is off
duty, but he would discover later
that this was not reflected in BCSO
policy. The operator referred to
current policy correctly when she
stated that no deputy would come
to aid Brown and White.
Sgt. Hiner has since changed the
Animal Control program policy to
reflect the more helpful practice.
803.4.9.2 Residents finding
stray animals may turn the
animal over to its lawful
owner, transport the animal
to the Heartland Humane
Society, or hold the animal
until the Animal Control
Program Manager or a Patrol
Deputy is available to come
pick it up. So the next time you find yourself
rescuing a stray dog on a holiday or
a weekend, I recommend calling the
Sheriff’s Office. If you call the CPD,
you might not get an answer you
can live with.
As to Brown and White, a generous
neighbor took them in for the night
and they were reunited with their
family the next morning.
Corvallis Advocate | 9
Thursday, Mar. 5
Michelle Hazelton Plays
Peacock. 125 SW 2nd St. 7 – 8 p.m.
Come enjoy a late dinner or a few drinks
with friends while you listen to Hazelton’s
acoustic styles. Minors welcome until 8 p.m.
Wild Hog in the Woods at
Calapooia Brewing. 140 NW Hill St., Albany.
7:30 p.m.
Strange Snow at Withycombe Hall Lab
Theatre. 2901 S.W. Campus Way. 7:30 p.m.
The play tells the story of a troubled past
shared by two Vietnam veterans during a
fishing trip on opening day of the season.
Relationships develop through humor
and heartache as Dave and Megs attempt
to move on from a horrific event. The
exploration of friendship and the impacts of
war upon individuals and families serve as a
reminder of the personal sacrifices made in
military service.
and taking Chinese instruments in new
artistic directions. Its pioneering musical
fusions have merged Chinese folk and
classical music with Brazilian, jazz, Celtic,
Spanish, Arabic, Aboriginal, and blues music.
James Warren Story Time for
Kids at Imagine Coffee Live Arts. 5460 SW
Wine Tastings at First Alternative
South. 1007 SE 3rd St., Corvallis. 4:30 – 6:30
Philomath Blvd., Corvallis. 10 a.m.
Red Diesel at Imagine Coffee. 5460
Southwest Philomath Boulevard. 7:30 pm –
9:00 pm.
Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.
For all ages and abilities. Work parties
provide the sanctuary’s abused, abandoned,
or neglected farm animals with clean water,
bedding, and living conditions. No RSVP
required; just show up wearing farm apparel
and boots.
Away Café. 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m.
Triptych Trio at Bombs Away Café.
2527 Northwest Monroe Ave., 9:00 pm. $10.
The incomparable talents of Skip vonKuske
(Portland Cello Project, Vagabond Opera)
and Don Henson (Sneakin’ Out, Pink Martini)
who perform together as the duo “Groovy
Wallpaper” will be joining Rob Wynia
as his Triptych Trio for an unforgettable
evening of music. This trio explores acoustic
and electronic soundscapes and deeply
percussive grooves, incorporating many
different musical styles. Come prepared to
be entranced, entertained, and rocked!
Substitute and Mightiest
Monster at Bombs Away Café. 2527
Flashback Friday at Jack Okole’s
Bar & Grill. 140 NW 3rd St., Corvallis. 9 p.m.
Freerange Open Mic at Bombs
Fairgrounds from mid-January through the
end of March each winter.
Fun-with-the-Animals Work
Party. Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary, 36831
League of Women Voters
Legislative Town Hall at CorvallisBenton County Public Library. 645 Northwest
Monroe Ave., 10:00 am – 11:30 am.
Greg & Zolton at Imagine Coffee.
5460 Southwest Philomath Boulevard. 2:00
pm – 3:00 pm.
Silk Road Music Event at
Public House. 126 SW 1st St., Corvallis. 10
p.m. Cloud & Kelly’s Public House is proud
to present a new destination for your Friday
night dance and house needs: The Low
Corvallis Public Library. 645 Northwest
Monroe Ave., 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm. For over
twenty years, Silk Road Music has been
smashing stereotypes about Chinese music
and taking Chinese instruments in new
artistic directions. Its pioneering musical
fusions have merged Chinese folk and
classical music with Brazilian, jazz, Celtic,
Spanish, Arabic, Aboriginal, and blues music.
3rd St. 10 p.m.
Saturday, Mar. 7
Acoustic Guitar Summit at
Ladies’ Night Featuring DJ
H-Ram & Josh Soto at Impulse Bar
Winter Wildlife Outdoor
Field Day at Finley National Wildlife
Northwest Monroe Ave. 9:00 pm. John
Huyck’s tribute to The Who and the musical
love-child of Sam Kincaid and Joel Gustafson
are back on the stage at Bombs Away Cafe
for a rock-n-roll revival!
Buckin’ Thursday Western
Night at Jack Okole’s Bar & Grill. 140 NW
& Grill. 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m.
Friday, Mar. 6
Music à la Carte: OSU Faculty
Recital. Memorial Union Lounge, 2501
SW Jefferson Way, Corvallis. 12 p.m. David
Servias and Friends. Features Nathan Boal,
saxophone; David Servias, piano; Ryan
Biesack, percussion; and others.
Greg & Zolton at Imagine Coffee.
5460 Southwest Philomath Boulevard. 2:00
pm – 3:00 pm.
Silk Road Music Event at
Refuge. 26208 Finley Refuge Road. 9:00
am – 1:00 pm. Bring the kids out for a FREE
outdoor field day and learn about local
ecosystems and wildlife at your favorite
wildlife refuge! Participants will receive
a naturalist workbook and earn a special
naturalist patch upon completion! Geared
towards Youth Scout Naturalist requirements
but open to all community groups, kids,
and young adults! Sponsored by Audubon
Society of Corvallis.
Corvallis Indoor Winter
Market. Benton County Fairgrounds, 110
SW 53rd St., Corvallis. 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. One
of western Oregon’s oldest weekly indoor
winter markets. The Corvallis Indoor Winter
Market serves the Corvallis, Albany, and MidValley area. The market runs every Saturday
at Guerber Hall on the Benton County
Coffee... Ha
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Fresh, Lo
Corvallis Public Library. 645 Northwest
Monroe Ave., 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm. For over
twenty years, Silk Road Music has been
smashing stereotypes about Chinese music
The Low Down at Cloud & Kelly’s
Fingerboard Extension. 120 Northwest 2nd
St., 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm. $10/advance; $12/
door. Featuring Mark Hanson, Terry Robb
, Doug Smith, and special guest Adam
FREE NOISE SHOW at Interzone.
1563 Northwest Monroe Ave., 7:00 pm.
Featuring acts from Corvallis, Eugene,
and Portland including nOiZpHyZiX, Don’t
Say Anything They Won’t See You, JUICE
MACHINE, Cyborg Beef Injection, [view], and
SkinnyTrips. (Donations welcome)
Magic Mama at Imagine Coffee.
5460 Southwest Philomath Boulevard.
7:00 pm – 9:00 pm. Live, acoustic looping
songstress Magic Mama is a one-woman
band. Performing original music using
eclectic and non-traditional instruments in
addition to guitar and ukulele, Magic Mama
is a voice for the Earth. An inspiring, joyful
and co-creative performance!
The Moonshine and
Scratchdog Stringband at Bombs
Away Café. 2527 Northwest Monroe Ave.,
9:00 pm. $5. The Moonshine is an idea on
the rise. An incandescent blend of guitar,
autoharp, fiddle, banjo and upright bass.
A rhythmic network of folks and songs
from everywhere and nowhere. Started in
the winter of 2012, The Moonshine began
crafting a style all their own based on
applying traditional stringband techniques
to the unconventional, yet instantly familiar
writing of Michael Gerard Levasseur.
Bar & Grill. 140 NW 3rd St., Corvallis. 9 p.m
Sunday, Mar. 8
Monday, Mar. 9
Zen Meditation at The Yoga Center
of Corvallis. 111 NW 2nd St. 10 a.m. – 12
p.m. No charge. Donations accepted. For
info, call Abby at 541-754-4124.
Insight Meditation Group. A
Restoring the Local Food Web
Five Stones Sangha: Mindful
Meditation. Friends Meeting House,
Saturday Stampede at Jack Okole’s
at Shonnard’s Nursery. 6600 Southwest
Philomath Blvd., 11:00 am. This seminar will
be focused on how community members
can aid in reconnecting the damaged link
between native plants and our weakened
pollinator populations. We will be exploring
the importance of native plants, the
implementation of man-made nesting
materials, and the reduction of harmful
pesticides in our landscapes.
Yoga for Recovery at Live Well
Studio. 971 Spruce Ave. 12:30 – 1:45 p.m.
For recovery from substance abuse, eating
disorders, codependency. By donation. For
info, visit
Strange Snow at Withycombe Hall Lab
Theatre. 2901 S.W. Campus Way. 2:00 p.m.
The play tells the story of a troubled past
shared by two Vietnam veterans during a
fishing trip on opening day of the season.
Relationships develop through humor
and heartache as Dave and Megs attempt
to move on from a horrific event. The
exploration of friendship and the impacts of
war upon individuals and families serve as a
reminder of the personal sacrifices made in
military service.
Blues Jam at Calapooia Brewing. 140
NE Hill St., Albany. 4 p.m.
Willamette Wellness Center, 6735 SW
Country Club Dr., Corvallis. 5 – 6 p.m. Learn
various meditation techniques to find inner
“My commitment is to listen, to empower you with
options, and consider not only your needs today,
but also your interests over the long term.”
-Karen Misfeldt
Attorney at Law
10 | Corvallis Advocate
Heart of the Valley Children’s
Choir Concert at First Methodist
Church. 1165 Northwest Monroe Ave.
7:00 pm. The purpose of the Heart of the
Valley Children’s Choir is to give each child
the opportunity to find the artist within.
Through the study and performance of a
wide variety of excellent musical literature,
the child learns, shares, and enjoys. For more
information, visit
Law practiced
and carefully.
Estate Planning
Family Care
calm, maintain good health, and reduce
stress. Guaranteed to leave you centered
and relaxed. All ages welcome. For info, call
971-218-6798 or visit
practice group in the Theravada Buddhist
tradition. For info, contact [email protected]
3311 NW Polk Ave. 5:30 p.m. Five Stones
Sangha meets regularly every week to
practice meditations and strengthen
mindfulness. For info, call Ken at 541-7609760 or visit
Heroclix. Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics,
2075 NW Buchanan Ave., Corvallis. 5:30
– 8 p.m. Heroclix takes place at Matt’s
Cavalcade of Comics every Monday.
Corvallis Science Pub at Old
World Deli. 341 Southwest 2nd St. 6:00 pm
– 8:00 pm. Science Pub Corvallis offers cool
presentations in an informal atmosphere
where you can interact with experts and
where there are no silly questions. Kyle
McDonald will describe some of these
geophysical methods and recent regional
studies in the United States in which those
methods have been deployed. He received
his master’s from Oregon State University
in 2011 after defending a thesis on heat
flow along five terrestrial regions of the
San Andreas Fault zone in California. He
has also studied earthquake mechanics and
geomorphology of tectonics (the influence of
subsurface forces on landscapes).
The Majestic Theatre Public
Forums. 115 SW 2nd St. 6:30 – 7:30
p.m. During the month of March, the
Majestic Theatre will be hosting public
forums on the various potential uses of the
theater by and for our community. The Live
½ off Tap Beverages
With the purchase of any pizza. Dine in only.
With or without coupon!
off Tap Beverages
541-752-5151 • 1045 NW KINGS BLVD
With the purchase of any pizza. Dine in only.
With or without coupon!
310 NW 7th Street • Corvallis
20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd 1
3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM
20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd 1
3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM
541-752-5151 • 1045 NW KINGS BLVD
Thursday, Mar. 12
Ongoing March Events...
Albany Historic Carousel
and Museum, 503 W 1st Ave.
exhibition of Japanese kimonos from
the 1920s and 1930s from the private
collection of artist Karen Illman Miller.
Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4
p.m. In the lobby, view finished animals
and watch the painters work on a number
of animals and other hand-crafted projects.
In the carving studio, see and touch over
two dozen carvings in progress.
The Arts Center Youth Poetry
Contest. The Arts Center, 700 SW
Madison Ave., Corvallis. In celebration
of Poetry Month, April 2015, all poets in
grades K to 12 living in Linn or Benton
County are invited to participate in the
10th annual Arts Center Youth Poetry
Contest. This exhibition is generously
supported by the Marys Peak Poets. All
poems submitted will be exhibited in the
Corinne Woodman Gallery at the Arts
Center from March 31 through April 25.
History Inspectors: ExhibitBased Scavenger Hunt. Albany
Regional Museum, 136 SE Lyon St. 11 a.m.
to 4 p.m. Kids can discover the answers to
Albany’s history while visiting the museum
and earn the title of ARM History Inspector.
Includes an activity sheet. Free; donations
‘Something Old, Something
Blue.’ Benton County Historical
‘Feminine, Daring, Meisen
Kimonos.’ Benton County Museum,
Museum, 1101 Main St., Philomath. Runs
through Oct. 24. Tuesday through Saturday,
10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. The exhibition
showcases artifacts from the combined
1101 Main St., Philomath. 10 a.m. to 4
p.m. Runs Feb. 3 through March 14. An
Music forum will cover uses of The Majestic
as a space for local, regional, and national
live music. Theatre Supervisor Jimbo Ivy
will brief the public on his vision and fiscal
thoughts regarding live music and then will
open the floor to comments and questions
from the community.
Comics, 2075 NW Buchanan Ave. 7:30 p.m.
Every Monday. DiceMasters is an all-new
cross-brand offering utilizing WizKids
Games’ proprietary Dice Building Game
platform where players collect and assemble
their “team” of character dice and battle in
head-to-head game play.
Meet the Author: Kurt Fausch
Bryson Skaar at Imagine Coffee Live
at Troubadour Music Center. 521 Southwest
2nd St., 7:00 pm. In For the Love of Rivers,
stream ecologist Kurt Fausch draws readers
across the reflective surface of streams to
view and ponder what is beneath, and how
they work. While celebrating their beauty
and mystery, he uses his many years of
experience as a field biologist to explain the
underlying science connecting these aquatic
ecosystems to their streamside forests and
the organisms found there—including
Prenatal Yoga at Live Well Studio.
971 Spruce Ave. 7 – 8:15p.m. Every Monday.
Drop-in. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.
International Folk Dance in
Albany. 1180 25th Ave. SW. 7 p.m. Cost: $4.
Traditional West African
Dance Classes. Oddfellows Hall, 223
SW 2nd St. 7:15 p.m. Traditional West African
dance classes hosted by Maria Soumah from
Guinea, West Africa. Accompanied by live
drumming from Fefafe.
Dicemasters. Matt’s Cavalcade of
Arts. 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m.
Pu’uwai O Ke Kuawa Heart of
the Valley Hula. First Baptist Church,
125 NW 10th St. 8:15 – 9:15 p.m. All shapes,
sizes, and levels of ability are invited to try
this gentle form of Hawaiian dance and
expression. Cost: $5 per class.
Tuesday, Mar. 10
Chair Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971
Spruce Ave. 3 p.m. Suited to those with
medical or physical limitations. By donation.
For info, visit
Teen Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce
Ave. 4 p.m. All teens welcome, all levels.
Free. For info, call 541-224-656 Corvallis
Community Choir Rehearsals. Unitarian
Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis, 2945
NW Circle Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Newcomers
welcome. No audition is required. Director:
James Moursund. Cost: $50 per term. For
info, contact Nan Chaney at 541-740-6068
or [email protected], or visit www.
2 Step Tuesdays. Riley’s Billiards
Bar & Grill, 124 SW Broadalbin St., Albany.
Horner Museum and Benton County
Historical Society artifact collections, with
an emphasis on the color blue. Sub-themes
include blue in nature, art, fashion, school
colors, uniforms, decorative arts, and more.
The museum has also borrowed something
new: man-made blue pigment from the
Oregon State University Department of
Howland Community OPEN
Exhibition: Reception. The Arts
Center, 700 SW Madison Ave., Corvallis.
runs from February 17 through April 4. The
Arts Center Invites you to share your art
with the Community. The Annual Howland
Community Open Exhibition is one of The
Arts Center’s most popular exhibits. The
Reception for the Howland Community
OPEN Exhibition is March 5, 5:30 – 7:30
509J District Student Art
7 – 11 p.m.
Celtic Jam at Imagine Coffee Live Arts.
5460 SW Philomath Blvd., Corvallis. 7:30 – 9
Timba Tuesday at Impulse Bar &
Grill. 1425 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 7:30
p.m. Join the Rumbanana Salsa Group every
Tuesday night after Rumbanana’s classes at
Impulse Bar & Grill. They’ll be playing the
best Timba, with a hint of Reggaeton and
Bachata. Under 21 allowed until 9 p.m. No
Wednesday, Mar. 11
Cheap Night at Darkside Cinema.
215 SW 4th St. Wednesday is Cheap Night
at Darkside. Cost: $6 for all shows. Bring
your own container for discounted prices on
Fun-with-the-Animals Work
Party. Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary, 36831
Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. 10 a.m. – 12
p.m. For all ages and abilities. Work parties
provide the sanctuary’s abused, abandoned,
or neglected farm animals with clean water,
bedding, and living conditions. No RSVP
required; just show up wearing farm apparel
and boots.
Mr. Bill’s Trivia Night. Murphy’s
Restaurant & Lounge, 2740 SW 3rd St. 7 to
10 p.m.
“Fukushima Update & Is
Nuclear Energy a Climate
Change Solution?” Forum at
Show at LaSells Stewart Center. 875
Southwest 26th St. Runs from March 2nd
to March 10th. Giustina Gallery will be
hosting a non-juried art show featuring
the work of Elementary, Middle, and
High School students.All mediums are
welcomed, including ceramic pieces
Giustina Gallery will provide each school
that participates with a poster for their
“Color is the Key” Exhibit
by Carolee Clark at The Arts
Center. 700 SW Madison Ave. Runs from
March 3rd to March 28th. Carolee Clark
has always had art around her. As a child
she would draw, while her artist-mother
set up her easel, and be enthralled with
her crayons and pencils, graduating to
watercolor when her mother gave her a
set. “I was hooked. They unlocked a world
of color for me” says Clark.
Corvallis Public Library. 645 Northwest
Monroe Ave. 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm . Mr.
Johnson will discuss the nuclear disaster
at Fukushima, and how it continues to
unfold 4 years after that fateful day, March
11, 2011, and address questions raised
by the accident. What, if anything, are
U.S. regulators doing to better protect the
hundreds of millions of Americans who
live near one of the nation’s 99 operating
nuclear reactors, including the Columbia
Generating Station (CGS) in Washington
State? What are some of the known risks
at CGS and what is being done to address
them? And what is the future of nuclear
power in the Northwest in the face of
climate change?
Meet the Author: Liz Carlisle
at Grass Roots Books and Music. 227
Southwest 2nd St. 7:00 pm. Liz Carlisle is a
fellow at the Center for Diversified Farming
Systems at the University of California,
Berkeley. She holds a Ph.D. in Geography,
also from Berkeley, and a B.A. from Harvard
University. A native of Missoula, Montana,
Carlisle is a former Legislative Aide to
United States Senator Jon Tester.A protégé
of Michael Pollan tells the remarkable story
of an unheralded group of Montana farmers
who have defied corporate agribusiness
by launching a unique sustainable food
Chuck Holst and Gary Rowles
at Bombs Away Café. 2527 Northwest
Monroe Ave., 7:30 pm. Local pros bring two
guitars and two voices and create infinite
Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses
Conversations from the
Corrine Woodman Gallery:
Carolee Clark at The Arts Center.
700 SW Madison Ave. 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm.
Conversations from the Corrine Woodman
Gallery with Carolee Clark on March 12,
2015 at noon. Bring your lunch! “Color
is the Key” is an exhibit of recent work
by Carolee Clark that runs from March 3
through 28, 2015, in the Corrine Woodman
Gallery. For complete information visit
Stamp Carving & Printing
Make & Take at Studio 262. 425
Southwest Madison Ave., Suite G. $10.
Ages 10 and up. No previous experience is
required. Jump right in to making stamps
using Speedy Carve blocks. Event demo will
be of an Easter Egg design, printed using a
rainbow of inks. Each student will take home
a stamp and their very own printed cards.
Pre-registration required.
Sustainability Fair & Town
Hall at CH2MHill Alumni Center. 725
Southwest 26th St. Sustainability Fair 5-7
pm, Town Hall 7-9 pm. The Sustainability Fair
will feature more than 50 hands-on exhibits,
each representing a partner organization or
action team of the Corvallis Sustainability
Michelle Hazelton Plays
Peacock. 125 SW 2nd St. 7 – 8 p.m.
Come enjoy a late dinner or a few drinks
with friends while you listen to Hazelton’s
acoustic styles. Minors welcome until 8 p.m.
Wander in Song Concert at
Russell Tripp Performance Center. 6500
Pacific Boulevard Southwest. Albany. 7:30
pm – 8:30 pm. $10/general; $7.50 Senior/
Students, $5 under 18. Conducted by LBCC
Choral Activities Director James Reddan, the
performance includes the award-winning
Concert Choir, Re-Choired Element Chamber
Choir, and the vocal a cappella groups Blue
Light Special and The Sirens. Penny Bazanele
will accompany on piano.
Wild Hog in the Woods at
Calapooia Brewing. 140 NW Hill St., Albany.
7:30 p.m.
Buckin’ Thursday Western
Night at Jack Okole’s Bar & Grill. 140 NW
3rd St. 10 p.m.
Ladies’ Night Featuring DJ
H-Ram & Josh Soto at Impulse Bar
& Grill. 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m.
University Cuts
Located in the M.U. on campus
Natalia &
351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis
Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner
Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find
Wine Classes • Party Trays
Red Diesel, 7:30-9pm
Every Monday: Bryson Skaar, piano, 7:30 – 9pm
Greg & Zolton, 2-3pm
Every Tuesday: Celtic Jam, 7pm
3/ 7
Magic Mama, 7-9pm
Every Saturday: James Warren, Story Time, 10 am
Triple Play, 7-9pm
5460 SW Philomath Blvd —
Just West of 53rd, Between Corvallis & Philomath
Best Cuts in
Fades, Line-ups,
ROTC Cuts & More!
Corvallis Advocate | 11
8 days a week...
ate picks...
Saturday, March 7
Thursday, March 5
Substitute and Mightiest
Friday, March 6
Triptych Trio
The Moonshine and
Scratchdog Stringband
Sunday, March 8
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9 p.m. $5
Heart of the Valley
Children’s Choir Concert
Folk bands, Corvallis, folk bands. What can I tell
you; if you’re not in the mood for some sort of folk
band on any given night, you may want to invest
in starting your own non-Americana slinging
outfit. In the meantime, Mr. or Mrs. Picky, you’ll
just have to settle for these really quite talented
bunches out of Portland. This show will be a
good one to attend with a beard, if that’s in your
repertoire. The Moonshine is an enjoyable genrebender that feels a bit like if Paul Westerberg
started a folk band. Only, you know, I might
actually go to see this group.
First Methodist Church, 1165 NW
Monroe Ave. 7 p.m. Free
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9 p.m. $10
Former Bombs owner John Huyck is up to no good
with his Who tribute act live on stage. This night has
the smell of nepotism all over it, but I do love the
Who, and I like a Who show I don’t have to pay for
even more. Bring your squeezebox and your pinballs;
this rock ‘n’ roll revival is going to something
something Boris the Spider. Oh duh, Substitute… I
just got that.
Rob Wynia is Corvallis’ renaissance man. This
guy has more projects than Los Angeles, and his
ranged skill set makes shows like this a surprise
every time. This time around he’s got Skip
vonKuske from Vagabond Opera and Portland
Cello project as well as Don Henson of Pink
Martini with him for a night of experimental and
eclectic musicianship. Don’t sleep on this show.
509J District Student Art
Meet the Author: Jenny
4515 SW West Hills Rd. 7:30 p.m. $7
($6 for students)
La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th
St. 5:30 p.m. Free
OSU Valley Library, 201 SW Waldo Pl.
7:30 p.m. Free
The Giustina Gallery at La Sells will be the site of this
non-juried art show for students from elementary,
middle, and high schools around Corvallis. All
mediums will be showcased, and if your kid is one of
the artists being showcased, I’m sure you’ll be there
anyway. I like to go with 10 or 15 of my really fit and
well-dressed friends and then walk around chuckling
rudely at the work. It may hurt their feelings now, but
in the long run we’re going to make great artists out
of these kids.
Boully’s books, including The Body (2002) and
The Book of Beginnings and Endings (2007), have
won her international acclaim for her creativity
and form-bending ingenuity. See her speak live at
the Valley Library and get a book signed. Take my
advice and don’t show up with 20 copies of each
of her books and ask her to sign them all but to
“leave the name blank.” Not only will she not do
it for you, but signed books aren’t worth anything
anyway. It’s not 1993 anymore.
The name of this group is a little misleading,
right? They’re more about contra dancing and
roots music than dwarves and faeries, and I’d
much rather this was a freaky LARP dance.
Still, contra dancing is crazy fun, and it’s more
rewarding than your current plan to sit at home
and make YouTube videos of yourself ranking the
different brands of mayonnaise by blind taste test.
I mean, the production value is surprisingly good,
and I never expected your extensive use of green
screens. But I am worried about your cholesterol
Corvallis Folklore Society
Contra Dance
I hate to be the one to advocate hecklers for the
kids, but American exceptionalism is suffering from
the touchy-feely European socialism of patting these
kids on the back all the time. The HVCC kids are a
talented, hardworking bunch, but I just don’t think
they’re going to take the next step unless we unload
some needlessly cruel punishment on them. But
let’s keep the criticisms music-related here, people.
I want to see catcalls about intonation, phrasing,
and timbre, not about fashion or any other aesthetic
touches. We’re trying to create superstars...
The Music Man
Corvallis High School Theatre, 1400
NW Buchanan Ave. 7 p.m. $10 ($8 for
students, $5 for youth)
Speaking of torturing kids to improve their
performances, I’ve actually seen this show, and
these kids are damn good. Somebody’s clearly
already tortured them with the high expectations
of the American stage tradition. That or they’re just
competently managed and directed by a caring
bunch of professionals. I’m betting on torture,
though. The Music Man is being produced live this
year by NBC, and is a classic of the stage and screen,
so you’ll have plenty of material to compare these
kids to. It’s the American way.
Submit: Do
Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar [email protected]
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a resale boutique for women in downtown Corvallis
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103 SW 2 Street | 541.754.1154 |
12 | Corvallis
| 541.754.1154
Thursday, March 12
Tuesday, March 10
Andra Taylor and Nate
Community Movie Night
Monday, March 9
The Jordan World Circus
Benton County Fairgrounds, 110 SW
53rd St. 7 p.m. $18 ($14 for children)
I love a good circus. The clowns are terrifying,
and occasionally profound. The animals are
tragic and depressing. The ringmaster is
underwhelming and unintentionally hilarious.
And I may be suppressing some traumatic
event from my childhood, but I have the
distinct feeling that acrobats are evil… plus I
get nausea and vertigo whenever I smell hay
or cannon fuse burning. Aaaaaanyway… the
circus is in town… yay.
Science Pub
Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 6 p.m.
The title of this edition of Science Pub is “In
Hot Water: Investigations Beneath the Earth’s
Surface Using Electromagnetic Methods.”
Wake me when it’s over, right bros? Anyone?
No? Oh, this is a really awesome and popular
event, you say? My bad… misread the crowd.
Okay then, let’s try this again; don’t miss this
fascinating and fun science night out when it
returns to the Old World with speaker Adam
Schultz from CEOAS at OSU. You’ll be smarter
and, if their business strategy is working at
all, more full of sandwiches for your trouble.
Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St.
7 p.m. Free
Before these shows begin, Ygal frequently likes
to give a “tasteful racism” warning. Some
of the classics of CMNYK and the film reels
and other goodies he shows beforehand have
some old-timey offensiveness in them. Well,
let me do him a favor and give that warning
extra early this week. It’s Abbott & Costello’s
Africa Screams (1949). The two extremely white
comedy legends go on a safari adventure,
in a continent that’s one unending string of
stereotypes, in search of diamonds. Racism and
hilarity abound. This film is a Kanye-composed
score away from being a deep satire on
exploitation. As it is, it’s just kind of offensive
and amazingly entertaining.
Celtic Jam
Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath
Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
If you show up to this event wearing Notre
Dame gear, things will legitimately jump off.
I’ve been to this thing, and while they seem like
a pleasant bunch of low-key artist types, they
will absolutely sock you in the face if you wear
gear that’s offensive to the Irish. Oh wait, am
I writing about Celtic Jam right now? Never
mind, I was thinking of Irish Poet Cliché Night
at O’Malley’s. But that’s next Tuesday. The Celtic
Jam at Imagine is totally safe for you no matter
what you’re wearing.
Wednesday, March 11
Chuck Holst and Gary
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free
If there was a Mount Rushmore of Corvallis
musicians, it would have Gary Rowles’ head
and a bunch of people who were employed to
keep his head clean and make sure there was a
giant endless bowl of green M&M’s underneath
it at all times. And that’s it. Which is to say,
he’s a pretty big deal. Don’t miss him and his
ace Chuck Holst at this laidback free gig. Or
if you do, at least have the good manners to
send a card or a fruit basket announcing you
regretfully couldn’t make it. It’s called manners.
Wednesday Acoustic Live
It’s the Brutal Bridges Band for this installment
of Alliteration by Candlelight—er, I mean,
Wednesday Acoustic Live. I know I’ve been
dismissive of folky acoustic rock in Corvallis
before, but… I don’t really have a great way to
end that sentence. Les Caves does have yummy
food and good taste in live entertainment, so
I would hit this up. Additionally, I’m open to
some sort of free endless hot pretzel deal in
exchange for less sarcastic admonitions to go
to this show every Wednesday. Hint, hint…
One magazine described McNally as “the
new face of Scottish fiddling in the USA,”
which is something I had always hoped
to be myself one day. So I’ll be pettily and
immaturely skipping this show to stay home
and pout. You’d be pretty stupid to skip it
though, because she’ll be busting out her not
inconsiderable fiddle game with the excellent
Neal Pearlman on piano and Shauncey
Ali on viola. Sometimes the most talented
musicians also make the best music.
Seasoned ground Lamb & Beef meat served on
pita with lettuce, tomatoes and garlic tahini sauce
(541) 908-2667
Open for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner
Katie McNally Band
Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30
p.m. $22 at the door ($20 in advance)
Small $3.99 Medium $5.99 Large $7.99
453 SW Madison & 5th St.
Downtown Corvallis
This romantic and whimsical couple of nuts
sold their earthly possessions and moved
their whole lives onto a bus to tour the world
playing each other’s music in a tag team
performing consortium. That sounds like a
better pilot for an HBO show about young
artists cutting their teeth than it does a
show I’d actually go to. But I’m much more
discerning and hermitish than you. Plus I
haven’t showered in 12 days. So I have an
excuse to skip this. You don’t. Oh, and there’s
an Oakshire Brewing tasting from 6 to 8
p.m. that’s free, too. Soooo, I guess what I’m
saying is, can I use your shower?
Les Caves, 308 SW 3rd St. 8 p.m. Free
Check out our in-house Mediterreanean Market!
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Your choice of grilled lean cuts of marinated lamb or
chicken slices, served on pita with, lettuce, tomatoes
and garlic tahini sauce
Delicious Pâté of ground cooked Garbanzo & Fava
beans mixed with a special blend of spices, served
on pita with lettuce, tomatoes and tahini sauce
For the above add $2.00 for rice or a side dish
creation of the day
Meals Under $10
Roasted Lamb Shank or
Mediterranean Chicken over
Rice or Couscous $9.99
Vegetarian Special Combo
Creation $9.99
Small $3.99 Large $5.99
BREAKFAST (all day)
Mediterranean Coffee & Baklava $ 4.99
Greek Sausage Omelet on a pita $ 3.99
Mediterranean veggie omelet on a pita $3.99
Mediterranean Baklava $2.50
Fresh Baked French Sourdough Baguettes $3.00
Corvallis Advocate | 13
Our Films Suck Less.
Every night.
Entertainmental The Best Worst Show on TV
By Ygal Kaufman
Darkside Cinema Films for 3/6/-3/12/2015
Please call or log on for show times
The beauty of the
film is in its simple, honest analysis of the human condition -- and in Ms.
Cotillard’s powerfully good performance. (SUBTITLED FRENCH)
A thrilling leap forward for director Alejandro
González Iñárritu, Birdman is an ambitious technical showcase powered
by a layered story and outstanding performances from Michael Keaton
and Edward Norton.Winner of Best Picture.
A gripping performance from Julianne Moore,
and a heartfelt drama that honors its delicate themes with bravery and
sensitivity. Best Actress Oscar Nom!
4th & Madison • Corvallis
(541) 752-4161
ox’s Empire is the most painfully,
embarrassingly brilliant show on any
network channel right now. I can’t
stop watching it and I’m ashamed of
myself, because it’s all of the things I
hate about TV rolled into one. So how
did everyone’s favorite guilty pleasure
become a ratings powerhouse and one
of the most compulsively watchable
programs around? The answer’s simple:
it’s Cookie.
For the roughly six people out there
not watching this show, Empire follows
the story of Lucious Lyon (a character
who sounds like he was named by
Stan Lee), played (poorly) by Oscar
nominee Terrence Howard, and the
music business behemoth he created
over the years, after being a charttopping gangster rapper. Making things
interesting for him (and us) is the rivalry
betwixt his three sons all vying to be heir
to the throne, a young fiancée who also
runs his company, and his ex-wife and
former business partner Cookie (played
by scene-stealing Oscar nominee Taraji
P. Henson), released from a 17-year
prison stint for drug dealing.
Oh yeah, and he’s dying of Lou Gehrig’s
I told you this show is embarrassing.
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If you’re thinking to yourself, “Gee, that
sounds awfully stupid and convoluted,
Dream, free delivery2 1x3 - Page 1 - Composite
not to mention just a combination of
Dallas and Boss (the short-lived Kelsey
Grammer vehicle),” then congrats.
You’ve already picked up on just how
lazy in conception this show really is. And
it doesn’t get that much better from
there. The dialogue, acting, and plot
twists on this show are idiotic and often
enraging. Plus, if all that wasn’t enough
of a turnoff, it’s also basically a hip-hop
Glee. Each episode treats the audience
to no less than one, sometimes several,
gaudy auto-tuned monstrosities of
musical numbers.
But hidden deep in all these obnoxious
shortcomings is the genius of the
show. It is just Dallas, but with a black
cast. But for maybe the first time on
television, the power struggles of a
family of black entrepreneurs is being
played straight, by which I mean, with
no apologetics. Lucious is a scumbag,
a murderer, a homophobe, and a
misogynist. His spoiled ilk are also almost
uniformly unlikable as well, save the
one sympathetic character on the
show, his gay son Jamal. There’s racial
stereotyping galore, and destructive
ideologies are reinforced, particularly by
the one white member of the Lyon den,
the scheming and morally bankrupt wife
of the eldest son. But again, this is what
makes the show work. A more cowardly
attempt at portraying a powerful black
family would get all caught up trying to
make the characters into role models.
But they’re not role models, they’re
a power-hungry family of elites. Just
like JR was on Dallas, and Tony on The
Sopranos, and a million other white
characters were on shows where they
didn’t have to worry about what people
would think of their representation of
their race.
By embracing the fact that no apologies
“Pretty please...
Take me to animal crackers.”
Free Delivery!
CAMPUS • 757-1713
2525 Delivery!
NW Monroe
With music oversight from legendary
producer Timbaland and ratings that
have increased with every episode so
far in its rookie season, Empire has a
bright future. If you’re already watching,
you know who Cookie is and why you
can’t look away. If you don’t, you need
to ask somebody.
Empire airs on Fox on Wednesdays at 10
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And it has the one thing no other show
on TV can boast: Cookie. The character
who best embodies all the traits of
the show. She’s ruthless, manipulative,
dishonest, driven, angry, complex, and
entertaining to death. Henson plays her
with the kind of breathless abandon that
makes TV great. Halfway into the first
episode, you can’t help but hate her. By
the start of the second episode, you wish
the show was only about her.
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are needed, and that they don’t have
to set any examples, the creators of
Empire, including Oscar-nominated
director Lee Daniels, have created the
thing we all want most out of a prime
time drama: action. Empire is dripping
with sex, betrayal, murder, and all the
other things that make this country
121 NW 4th
1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612
Hard Truths
The Orange & Black Choral and
Vocal Scholarship Concert
by Sidney
Branded by Truth
’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good
news is it looks like spring is almost here. The bad news
is most of you are sex criminals. Hey, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news, but according to a helpful list I saw
on Facebook, whose main tenets have been promoted
in all corners of social media at this point, nearly every
sexual encounter I’ve ever had is up for debate.
Including some of the times I masturbated.
The list in question goes over
some of what might be
considered gray areas in sexual
consent. Most of the items on
the list are uncontroversial, and
should be quite obvious: “Being
in a relationship is not consent.”
Of course being in a relationship
does not mean one party gets
to have sex with the other
regardless of whether that person
wants to or not. “Consent to one
act is not consent to all acts.”
Again, this should be obvious to
all reasonable human beings,
but of course it isn’t, and so sadly
such lists are necessary.
“If they aren’t sober, they can’t
consent.” Okay now, hold on a
I’d be lying if I said I’ve never
elicited enthusiastic consent from
a person who had anywhere
from a few to more than a few
alcoholic beverages in them. More to the point, I’ve
given my consent on more than a few occasions when
I had several drinks in me. What’s more, often on these
occasions I woke up the next morning filled with regret.
But to say that consent under the influence of alcohol
is not consent is a very slippery slope. How many drinks
is too many drinks to give consent? What about for
non-sexual acts? If a person has too many drinks and
then smashes the windows of their neighbor’s house,
are they off the hook for that? Or is sex the only action
that is completely beyond one’s control once they’ve
imbibed? How much does inebriation alleviate a
person of responsibility for their actions? In the state
of Oregon, on any given Friday night, is there anyone
having sex who’s not doing it with multiple beers in their
Let me take this opportunity to be clear; I’m not
saying it’s okay to take advantage of a person who
has had so much to drink that they can’t physically
control themselves, and certainly not a person who is
unconscious. If a person can’t walk or speak straight,
then how would one be certain they’re consenting at
all? These situations are what reasonable people would
unequivocally call sexual assault.
But unwise decisions that would likely have never
occurred without alcohol, and the buyer’s remorse
that inevitably comes with them, are certainly not the
same thing as rape. Stigmatizing a generation of high
school and college students into thinking they are is
a mistake we will most certainly regret as a society.
Especially when it’s used to defend someone who has
committed a rape. If one party can’t possibly give
informed consent when they’re at all inebriated, it
stands to reason a lawyer will soon be able to make a
convincing case that their client also wasn’t responsible
for committing the rape, because they, too, were
under the influence of alcohol.
OSU Chamber Choir,
Bella Voce, Glee and
OSU Meistersingers
Then comes the big one: “If you
have to convince them, it’s not
Say what? This is very clearly
nonsense. If you have to
convince them, it may not be a
great idea. If you fail to convince
them, and then insist on sex
anyway, it’s most assuredly rape.
But that they didn’t simply want
to jump into bed with you sans
discussion of any kind?
7:30 PM
Tickets: $10 advance, First United Methodist Church
$12 at the door
1165 NW Monroe, Corvallis
Advance tickets online
only at
OSU students free
with ID card
On more than one occasion
in my life I have gone into a
social situation not planning
to or wanting to have sex and
then been convinced by the
overwhelming wisdom and
clarity of purpose of another
Helping families find their first
person. Again, on some of these
as wellas
as well
their next
find their first
I woke up families
regretting it.
But on none of these occasions
their next home since 1951.
was I coerced or forced into
anything, and abdicating responsibility for them to
an oversimplification of the complexities of human
interaction would be dishonest.
Again, to be clear, I’m not saying that actual coercion,
or non-physically “forcing” someone to have sex is not
rape. It very clearly is. However, sometimes people
get convinced to do things that end up being great
experiences, and sometimes end up in social disaster.
But to sweepingly declare the practice of trying to
convince a person to have sex as rape will have
weird and terrible consequences on the psyches
of millennials. I might also point out, it makes every
pornographic act or act of prostitution that has ever
occurred into a rape. For these people would clearly
not be having sex if not convinced by a financial
Helping families find their first home, as well as
their next home since 1951.
is in the air
is in the air
Helping families find their first home, as well as
their next home since 1951.
Confucius once said, “Better a diamond with a flaw
than a pebble without.” Which is to say, there are gray
is in the air
areas in the human experience, and there are black
and white situations. When we make preposterous
policy prescriptions (say that five times fast) such as the
Corvallis Office
Albany Office
455 NW Tyler Ave
1117 Pacific Blvd SE
ones in the consent definition list, we’re throwing the
flawed diamonds out the window
on a Office
quixotic purity
Albany Office
quest for perfect pebbles. By trying to separate gray
455 NW Tyler Ave
1117 Pacific Blvd SE
into its black and white constituents, we’re making the
perfect the enemy of the good. Or in this case, the
455 NW Tyler Ave
1117 Pacific Blvd SE
impossible the enemy of reality. And it won’t end well
for anyone.
Corvallis Advocate | 15
First Alternative
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5-7 pm Sustainability Fair • 7-9 pm Town Hall
CH2MHill Alumni Center 725 SW 26th Street • Corvallis
Sustainability Fair & Town Hall
Thursday, March 12
with our
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