Boundaries in Marriage Session 13 Worksheet Keeping Your Love

Boundaries in Marriage
Session 13 Worksheet
The 5 Love Languages
Keeping Your Love Alive
Each partner in the marriage has an _____emotional______ love tank.
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, frequently hears the remarks listed below
in marriage counseling. Have any of these thoughts, or similar ones, ever gone through your
 Our love is gone.
 Our relationship is dead.
 We used to feel close, but not now.
 We no longer enjoy being with each other.
 We don’t meet the other’s needs.
“Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an
invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty?”
Dr. Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages
What are some signs in a marriage that the gauge on a spouse’s love tank is on empty?
Critical spirit
Misbehavior by one spouse of the other
Think about it:
Harsh words
Love Languages…based on The Five Love Languages book by Dr. Gary Chapman
A love language is the way that people speak and understand another’s ___emotional____
Discovering your primary love language
3 ways to discover your own primary love language: *
1. What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of
what hurts you is probably your love language.
2. What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing you have most often
requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.
3. In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method of expressing
love may be an indication that that would also make you feel loved.
Using these 3 approaches will probably enable you to determine your primary love language. If
two languages seem to be equal for you, that is, both speak loudly to you, then perhaps you are
bilingual. If so, you make it easier on your spouse. Now he or she has two choices, either of
which will strongly communicate love to you.
*Taken from The Five Love Languages, p. 124-125
Determining your Love Language
Complete the Love Language Profile for either the husband or wife. Write your primary love
language below and rank the other 4 in the order that they showed on the profile:
My Primary Love Language is _______________________________________.
My secondary love language is ______________________________________.
4. ___________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________
At-Home Assignment
1. Spend some time thinking about what you determined to be your primary love
language. What are some meaningful ways your spouse currently communicates to you
in your primary love language or ways in which you wish he/she would communicate
with you in the future?
2. Write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. Sit down with
your spouse and discuss what you guessed to be his/her primary love language. Then
tell each other what you consider to be your own primary love language.
3. Discuss how you and your spouse can better “speak” each other’s love language needs.
Be honest with each other.