Tuesday • April 29, 2014
grandparents need
to change their view
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been mar- Dear Abby
ried for three years and
have two beautiful children. Shortly before our
first child was born, my inlaws bought a new camera.
They bring it along to every
visit and constantly take
pictures of all of us. Neither
my husband nor I likes having our pictures taken. My
in-laws have thousands of
pictures of all of us already. BY JEANNE PHILLIPS
Universal Press
The biggest problem is
that they don’t have a relationship with their grandchildren because of this. They complain that the
kids “don’t like them.” They feel they should therefore visit more often, but in reality, these visits consist of nonstop photo-snapping, and no quality time
is spent with either of the children. How do I make
this stop without causing problems?
DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: A diplomatic approach
would be to suggest to your in-laws that they “shoot”
only for a limited time when they visit — no longer
than the first 10 minutes. Explain that you realize
the kids are growing and changing quickly, and you
understand their desire to record all of it, but the
children need a deeper kind of interaction with their
grandparents in order to form a positive bond with
them. Then suggest some ways they can relate to the
little ones after the camera is put away.
If they balk, tell them the reason their grandchildren don’t seem to like them is that children need
face-to-face and eye contact, and the camera has
prevented it from happening. If they’re smart, they’ll
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 43-year-old woman who has
been in a relationship with a man I dated many years
ago, “Charles.” When we reconnected three years
ago, I had a dog, “Frosty.” One year into the relationship, Charles asked me to get rid of Frosty because
he thinks dogs are unsanitary. I loved Frosty and
kept him, but it caused all kinds of problems with
my boyfriend.
When Charles and I moved in together three
months ago, he insisted I get rid of Frosty and I
caved. I miss my little friend so much it hurts. Memories of him are everywhere. I am able to get him
back, but is it crazy that I would jeopardize my relationship because I want to keep my dog?
DEAR IN THE DOGHOUSE: I don’t think it’s
crazy, and I’m sure my animal-loving readers —
who number in the millions — would agree with me.
People bond with their pets to such an extent that in
the event of a natural disaster, some of them refuse
to be separated from their companions.
That Charles would insist you get rid of Frosty
shows extreme insensitivity for your feelings, in
addition to disregard for your beloved pet in whom
you had a significant emotional investment. Could
Charles be jealous of the affection you have shown
Frosty? Not knowing him, I can’t guess. But if you
are forced to choose between the two of them, you
should seriously consider choosing the dog.
21-April 19) ###" Be Horoscopes
aware of the costs of proceeding as you have been.
The unexpected will occur
with a partner, who could
be described as combative. Tonight: Say “no” to
an extravagance.
20-May 20) ####" You’ll
beam in more of what
you want because of your
ability to brainstorm well
with one specific person.
King Features
Tonight: Take the lead.
GEMINI (May 21-June The Stars Show the Kind
20) ###"Make it OK to be of Day You’ll Have:
a little less positive at the #####"####"- Positive
moment, especially if you ###"- Average
want to air out a concern. ##"- So-so
You have a strong sense of #"- Difficult
direction, but you might
want to evaluate the pros
and cons of a problem before taking any action.
Tonight: Not to be found.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) ####"Zero in on
what you want. You can’t underestimate someone
else’s role in a particular situation. You might not
want to face the music; however, if you do, the outcome ultimately could become even more positive and upbeat. Tonight: Where your friends are.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) ###" Verbalize more
of what you want. Be direct in how you handle a
problem. Discussions will be animated, and you’ll
get a better sense of where others are coming
from as a result. Tonight: A must appearance.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) ####"Keep reaching out to a friend or loved one who means a lot
to you. Your imagination and creativity might not
be putting the correct slant on a matter. Tonight:
Consider an offer.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) ####" A partner
will offer you a myriad of solutions. The issue is
deciding whether you would like to act on any of
them. Tonight: Togetherness counts.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) ####" Listen
to others; they have a lot to share. You could be
frustrated when dealing with a personal matter.
Communication will remain active, but you might
notice a change of tone. Tonight: Go with a suggestion.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) ###"Pace
yourself, and know that you have a lot to do. You
could be amazed by what you can accomplish,
especially if you funnel your frustration into
activity. Tonight: Keep yourself busy.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) ####"
Encourage a brainstorming session. You could be
delighted by the solution that emerges, as well as
by the good will that evolves. Tonight: Where the
fun is.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) ####"A stop
in the boss’s office will tell you that you have a lot
of ground to cover. Demands on the homefront
also could keep you more than busy. Tonight: At
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) #####" You
must relax and go with the flow. You could be
overwhelmed by everything that is happening
and by how much you need to do. Tonight: Make
weekend plans.
Pussy Riot
will attend
literary gala
Associated Press
Non Sequitur
For Better or for Worse
The Lockhorns
The Family Circus
Two members of Pussy Riot
will be attending a literary celebration already
includes Toni
Salman Rushdie and Robert Caro on
the guest list.
M a r i a
A lyokhina
T o l o k o n - Alyokhina
expected at the
PEN American
Center Literary Gala, PEN
Monday. The
event is scheduled for May 5
at the Museum
of Natural His- Tolokonnikova
Rushdie and Twitter CEO
Dick Costolo will be receiving
awards from PEN, the nonprofit
organization has been a longtime advocate for free expression.
Members of Pussy Riot, the
Russian punk band, have been
arrested on several occasions
for protesting against oppressive rule by the Russian government and criticizing President
Vladimir Putin, including
during the Winter Olympics in
PEN executive director
Susan Nossel said Alyokhina
and Tolokonnikova will be
making brief remarks during
the presentation of the PEN/
Barbara Goldsmith Freedom to
Write Award, being given this
year to imprisoned Chinese
writer-blogger Ilham Tohti.
Beyonce and husband Jay
Z will launch the co-headlining
“On the Run Tour” on June 25 in
Beyonce made the announcement Monday. The stadium tour
will visit Philadelphia; East
Rutherford, N.J.; Chicago; and
Los Angeles. It wraps Aug. 5 in
San Francisco.
Pre-sale tickets go on sale
Beyonce and Jay Z have collaborated on several songs,
including the hits “Crazy In
Love,” ‘‘Deja Vu,” ‘‘Part II (On
the Run)” and the recent smash
“Drunk In Love.”
Beyonce released her ultrasuccessful self-titled fifth
album last year.
Fast and loose
Tribune Media Services
Beetle Bailey
Baby Blues
In another sign (in my view) of
the decline of civilization, many
schools no longer teach cursive
writing. Instead they focus on
keyboard skills.
Some people live — and play
bridge — like they type: fast, and
with a lot of mistakes. Today’s
West led a spade against six
clubs, and South hastily threw a
diamond on dummy’s ace, took
the ace of diamonds and conceded a diamond.
West won and led a heart,
and South rose with dummy’s
ace, ruffed a diamond and led a
trump. If the missing trumps had
split 2-1, South could have drawn
them in dummy and pitched
his last heart on a good diamond. But when West held three
trumps, South had to go down.
South played too fast. He must
play low from dummy on the first
spade and discard a diamond on
East’s king.
If East shifts to a diamond,
South wins, leads a trump to
dummy, discards his last diamond on the ace of spades and
ruffs a diamond. He can lead
a trump to dummy, ruff a diamond, draw trumps and go to
the ace of hearts for the good
North dealer
Neither side vulnerable