Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER

Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER
“For the Families & Friends of those who have died by violence”
19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215
Chapter Phone: (602) 254-8818 Chapter E-mail: [email protected]
* National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. (POMC)
4960 Ridge Ave. Suite 2, Cincinnati, OH, 45209 (513-721-5683) Fax (513-345-4489)
http://www.pomc.com/phoenix/index.html
Toll Free Number (888) 818-7662
Volume 22: No. 10 October 2013
MONTHLY MEETING
LOCATIONS
4th Tuesday Grief support meetings
EAST VALLEY SUPPORT
Tuesday, October 22, 2013 7 PM
4th TUESDAYS
Special Note: For the Eastside Support Group
Meeting, please consider bringing nonperishable/canned food items to donate to the
church.
Mountain View Lutheran Church
11002 S. 48th Street, Phoenix
(1/2 mile West of I-10 at 48th Street & Elliot)
Room 8
Facilitator: Mari Bailey
(602) 405-7401
[email protected]
Co-facilitator: Mark & Sandy LeGault
(480) 242-0038
WEST VALLEY SUPPORT
Tuesday, October 22, 2013 7 PM
4th TUESDAYS
Antioch Church of God in Christ
9600 West Peoria Avenue
(NW Corner of 96th Ave/W Peoria Ave)
West of Loop 101
Special Note: Consider bringing some
personal hygiene items for the
church's donation center.
Facilitator: Beckie Miller
(623) 582-2406
Co-facilitator: Kathy Hernandez
(623) 707-6825
CRIME VICTIMS LEGAL ASSISTANCE
PROJECT
Free legal aid to help assert victims' rights
through Arizona Voice for Crime Victims @
(480) 727-7465, P.O. Box 875920, Tempe, AZ
85287-5920 or contact Mary Wallace at
[email protected]
SPEAKER/INFORMATION
MEETING
(2nd Tuesday Meeting)
Tuesday, October 8, 2013 7:00 p.m.
(PLEASE NOTE NEW LOCATION)
*** Mountain View Precinct
2075 East Maryland Phoenix AZ
(off AZ 51 at 20th Street between Glendale
Avenue and Bethany Home Road)
Our meeting this month will feature Sunny Dawn
Johnston, a psychic medium, teacher, speaker and
author. Sunny first came to our meetings as a
member of the Find Me organization, a group of
retired law enforcement, psychics and search dogs
who find missing homicide victims. She has
presented at several of our POMC National
Conferences as well.
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
Mail Memorial Page items for “The Journey”, by
the 10th of the month prior to publication to:
POMC Newsletter
19620 North 38th Ave Glendale AZ 85308
Please use order form on Page 11
You can also email items to [email protected]
Be sure to place any article or picture in an
attachment, otherwise it can’t be accessed
properly (especially pictures) and may not be
used. Also, be sure to put POMC Newsletter in
the subject line of the email.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
Tracy Beattie
October 1, 1995
Michael Arballo, Jr.
October 6, 2001
Paul R. Leyvas, Jr.
October 10, 2001
Gilbert Alanis
October 1, 1999
Joanna Youngdog
October 7, 1988
Jessica Sue Kosobucki
October 10, 2004
Gracie Zazueta
October 1, 2002
Daisy Del Rio
October 7, 1997
Donald Martinez
October 10, 2004
Daniel Todd Richardson
October 2, 1995
Rachelle Gonzales
October 7, 1999
Doni Carnesi
October 11, 1993
Joshua James Wolfe
October 2, 1996
Lisa Fishbacher
October 7, 2006
Kimberly Rowe
October 12, 2001
Candace Cheney
October 2, 1998
Gregory Eli Holman
October 8, 2006
Addison Kiman Baldwin
October 12, 2010
Chris Hess
October 2, 1999
Joe Andriano
October 8, 2000
Samantha Ackland
October 14, 1994
Aaron Sweeney
October 3, 1995
Henry E. Verdugo
October 8, 2000
Teofilo “Terry” Dante
Ranieri, Jr.
October 14, 2002
Jaime David C. Hernandez
October 4, 1992
Charyl Campbell
October 8, 2006
Frank Vasquez
October 4, 2011
Shelly Dupee
October 9, 1988
Mary Gonzales
October 5, 1997
Bobby “BJ” Pimbert, Jr.
October 9, 1993
Brendon Eric Chavez
October 5, 2001
Anthony Lee Hernandez
October 9, 2006
Leon Villareal
October 5, 2006
Anthony Romero
October 9, 2006
Glen Tate
October 6, 1997
James & Josephine
Fanciullo
October 10, 1999
2
DeRon A. Self
October 14, 1991
Karen Campbell
October 14, 2007
Gabriel Rodriguez
October 14, 2007
Barbara Cappe
October 15, 2009
Monique Cota
October 15, 2011
Kyle Chipley
October 15, 2012
Continued. . . . .
Carolan Evening Wind Eaks
October 16, 1978
Chad Barrick
October 20, 2007
Robert Johnson
October 26, 2008
Daniel Justin "DJ" Rodgers
October 17, 1997
Kimberly D. Rowe
October 21, 2001
Janet Marie Leonhardt
October 27, 1986
Stephen Campbell
October 17, 2000
Nathan Campbell
October 21, 2005
Angelo Miguel Martinez Mack
October 27, 1997
David Wayne Brown
October 17, 2002
Shannon Hughes
October 22, 1996
Eddie Villalobos, Jr.
October 27, 2004
Zachary Joseph Marco
October 17, 2010
Jeffrey Coyle
October 22, 2001
Paul James Kapitz
October 27, 2009
Brandon Rumbaugh
October 18, 2003
Sean Goodpasture
October 22, 2003
Benny Espejo
October 28, 1990
Lisa Gurrieri
October 18, 2003
Rashelle Lauren Carpenter
October 22, 2005
Cheryl McGaffie
October 28, 2002
Kauri Greene
October 18, 2008
Derrick Goode
October 22, 2006
Ysidro Losoya, Jr.
October 28, 2005
Randy Metheny
October 18, 2008
Christopher Paul Schultz
October 23, 2001
Santiago Zaragoza
October 29, 1996
Brian Ray Miller
October 19, 1991
Robert Diez
October 24, 1994
Jeffrey Arigoni
October 30, 1995
Jesus Tanon
October 19, 2003
Roy Munoz
October 25, 1991
Robi Yaramata
October 30, 1995
Bruce Liptak
October 20, 1980
Leanee Marie Donoghue
October 25, 2002
Jeffrey Arigoni
October 31, 1995
Michael Anthony Chiara
October 20, 2000
Vincent Garcia
October 26, 1997
Schara Irene Marshall
October 31, 1998
Paul Leyvas, Jr.
October 20, 2001
Richard Ruiz
October 26, 1998
Joey Romero
October 31, 2010
Jermaine Johnson
October 20, 2006
Jesse Aguilar
October 26, 2006
*Every effort is made to ensure accuracy
on these pages. Please notify us if
changes need to be made or someone
added.
3
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER NEWS
TRIAL, JUDICIAL & ARREST UPDATES
● The convicted murderer of Paul James Kapitz, son of Ken and Carolyn of Wisconsin, was found dead in
Florence prison in August. Apparently he committed suicide though an investigation is ongoing. Paul was
murdered in October of 2009 by a co-worker.
“Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with each and every family member as they endure this necessary but
difficult process.”
IN LOVING MEMORY GIFT DONATIONS (THANK YOU!)
(*All donations are tax deductible: Our chapter exists on the generosity of others and grants)
♥ Debbie Spencer in very loving memory of her son, Justin Spencer.
♥ Don & Beckie Miller in very loving memory of their son, Brian Ray Miller.
♥ Carolee Holbrook in very loving memory of her son, Brett Holbrook.
CORPORATE & OTHER DONATIONS THANK YOU!
UNITED WAY (Please Note: the write in number to designate funds to our chapter through your employee
contributions is 0772) You must use this number for designating any funds to go to our chapter. Our chapter
name is not listed except by number.)
MARICOPA COUNTY ATTORNEY'S OFFICE RICO FUNDS (for the chapter printing costs)
WALMART
◄◄◄ PLEASE NOTE NEW ADDRESS FOR CHAPTER MAILING►►►
We have a new address for the chapter, 19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215. We closed our
PO Box and mail is supposed to be forwarded to us but that has not always been happening so if something you
sent was returned, please resend.
COLD CASE REGISTRY FOR HOMICIDES
The Phoenix Police Department now has a Cold Case Registry on line. The link is
http://phoenix.gov/police/investigations/coldcase/index.html. The second phase of this website project will
eventually include a searchable listing of cold cases with a brief synopsis of each case. Interested persons can
then send us information on the case or be routed to Silent Witness should they want to do so. Hopefully, this
will generate more tips and leads and move more cases to successful resolution. Many family members just
need to know their loved one's case is still open, and hopefully this will give them solace that the case is not
forgotten.
SPEAKER INFORMATION MEETING IN SEPTEMBER
Our meeting this month featured our own Kathy Hernandez presenting on "Healing Through Music and
Movement." Kathy dances hula at many of our chapter events and also presents this workshop at our national
conferences. The power of music and movement (dance) can help us to heal if we open ourselves up to the
possibility. Kathy has always loved dance and was on her way to doing so professionally when a car accident at
the age of 17 nearly severed her foot. She still has a tremendous amount of scarring and a lot of pain constantly
in her foot but it does not stop her from doing what she loves. We have a lot of scarring and pain in our hearts
and experiencing joy or doing what we love after the murder of our loved one (s) is not an easy task. If we
work hard on our grief and realize our loved ones would not wish up to give up enjoying whatever life we are
granted, we can allow ourselves the freedom to have fun, to do what we love and to DANCE, even if we can't
do it well, as a few of us learned at the meeting. We had fun, though and even Lt. Tomory got up and danced as
well as a staff member from the precinct who heard the music and joined us.
NEW NAMES ADDED TO THE MEMORIAL WALL "IN THEIR LOVING MEMORIES"
Jesse James Ortiz, Age 44, Murder Date 9/12/2012
Darrick Michael Hendrix, Age 23, Murder Date 6/6/2013
Jesse M. Casillas Age 7 & Edwin Pellecier, Jr. Age 10, Murder Date 12/26/2008
4
►CHAPTER WINDOW DECALS AND BRACELETS FOR SALE◄
We have custom made white window decals in a beautiful circular design with our name, chapter web site, and
logo with a sun surrounding a parent/child for sale. They are $10 and they are for the outside of your car
window and last through weather and car washes or you can even put them on house windows ( I did). Also
our Chapter Bracelets are black and red multi with “POMC” and “Always in our Hearts” (our loved ones) on
them. These are only $3. To order, just send a note and payment to: PO Box 39603, Phoenix AZ 85069-9603.
The window decals are better than bumper stickers, easier to remove when needed and come with instructions
for attaching and help bring awareness to POMC and let others who need us know about us.
SIBLING ON LINE SUPPORT
Amanda Harris, a member of our chapter, has formed an on line Sibling Support venue.
www.unitingsiblings.com or phone her for more information at 623-866-3189. Amanda lost her brother Joshua
to murder and understands the sibling grief in a way only siblings can.
NATIONAL POMC INFORMATION
☺ CINCINNATI, OHIO OFFICE☺
● NEW POLICY BY NATIONAL BOARD OF TRUSTEES: At the recent board meeting, the Board voted
to adapt the policy that: every chapter that has been in existence for one year or more will be required to pay to
National POMC $200 a year or 10% of funds raised - whichever number is greater. Money must be sent along
with the Chapter's Annual Report.
● NATIONAL LOOKING FOR YOUR EXPERTISE: If you are an attorney, CPA, skilled writer or other
professional who can lend some time to help POMC with your professional skills, please contact the National
Office at: [email protected]
●NEW POLICY BY NATIONAL BOARD OF TRUSTEES: "The National Organization of Parents Of
Murdered Children, Inc., shall not assume a position on matters regarding religion, political elections, the death
penalty or gun control and shall remain neutral regarding these issues."
●SAD NEWS: We are so sorry to let you know that Bob Matthews died last month. He was a past Chapter
Leader of the Maine Chapter and he will be greatly missed by the Chapter and his POMC family.
● THANK YOU: A great big THANK YOU to Sherry Nolan, Terry Barton, and the Greater Cincinnati Area
Chapter for a wonderful conference. We received a lot of positive feedback on everything involving the
conference such as the beautiful historic hotel, the different workshops and the food was excellent! Thank you
to all who attended and we hope that they found comfort and made many new friends.
● ACTS OF SIMPLE KINDNESS SCHOLARSHIPS: Acts of Simple Kindness, Inc., ("ASK") provides
financial assistance for dependent children of widows and widowers under the age of 18. The financial
assistance must be used to fund a program or class within the areas of education, sports, music or the arts.
Applications that are for purposes other than these four will be discarded. For more information, please go to
http://actsofsimplekindness.org/grant-program/
●DONATIONS AND SUPPORT OF NATIONAL POMC: There are many ways to help with much needed
funds for POMC, including any items you buy on Amazon.com, as well as if you shop the Kroger Stores. It is
very simple and does not cost you anything and yet your purchase allows a percentage from these companies to
go directly to National. Please go on-line to www.pomc.org and see how you can sign up for this or contact
[email protected]
● AUTO DONATIONS: We are encouraging all chapters and contact persons to get involved with POMC
Debit Authorization. You can now donate to NATIONAL POMC by setting up an automatic withdrawal from
your bank account to National. Contact National for a debit authorization form. This is a fast and easy way to
make a donation to National to help us help others. Your donation is withdrawn at the same time of the month
each month and no amount is too small. We appreciate your help during these difficult economic times.
●PAROLE BLOCK PROGRAM: To date this program had kept more than 1357 prisoners who committed
murders from being released early. Parole Block was begun in 1990 and all members across the United States
whose loved one’s killer is up for early release/parole consideration can file a petition with National that is sent
nationwide for signatures protesting their release.
5
TOPIC FORUM: POMC has a “Topic Forum” on its web site. It provides a place where survivors all over
the U.S. can communicate with each other. It’s a good place to suggest to those who aren’t able to attend
monthly grief support meetings to utilize the support. Please let your members know that it is there for
additional support so that they can tell their other family members, co-workers and friends who may be in states
where we have no POMC chapters.
SECOND OPINION SERVICES: A program that provides second opinions on unsolved or complicated
cases by a national board comprised solely of experts in the medical, law enforcement and investigative fields.
MURDER IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT (MINE) PROGRAM: Through this program, POMC raises
public awareness to the insensitivity of murder as entertainment through toys, games, murder mystery
weekends, drive by shooting fashions, serial killer trading cards and anything that glamorizes violence.
BIG TURN OFF: This is an annual event, each January, in which citizens are asked to turn off their
televisions for one evening during prime time hours to protest the violence on television.
MURDER WALL: (A traveling tribute honoring the memories of murder victims). A photo album is also
available with each plaque. Currently, the cost is $75 to add your loved ones names to the Walnut Plaques that
comprise the Murder Wall. You have two pages for the photo album to add information, poetry or pictures.
SILENCED VOICES: A program begun in January 2002 which advocates for the vigorous investigation and
prosecution of those responsible for the murder of abused children. The first case was that of Brandi Conley.
POMC was instrumental in bringing charges against her parents.
●SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER: This is a newsletter provided through National POMC and your
subscription helps support national programs and services. Order form below.
NATIONAL POMC SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION FORM
Please find enclosed $10.00 for my annual subscription (three issues) for the Survivors
Newsletter. Please consider adding an extra subscription fee to help defray the cost for
someone who cannot afford it.
Name:____________________________
Address:__________________________
City:_____________________________
State/Zip:_________________________
Phone: (
)______________________
Mail to: POMC, Inc.
4960 Ridge Avenue Suite 2
Cincinnati, OH 45209
Enclosed is my
_____Check
_____Money Order
In the amount of $_______for
_______year (s) subscription.
Please charge $___________for ____year(s)
subscription to my:
____Visa
____Master Card
Card Number:_________________________
Expiration Date:_______________________
____I have enclosed an extra subscription fee to defray
the cost for someone who cannot afford a Survivors
Newsletter subscription.
must find my own path.
6
BRENDON ERIC CHAVEZ
12/10/77- 10/05/2001
A Picture Of You
I only have a picture now,
A frozen piece of time,
To remind me of how it was,
When you were here, and mine.
The angels came and took you,
That really wasn't fair.
If only they had asked me,
If I would take your place,
I would have done so willingly,
Leaving you this world to grace.
I see your smiling eyes,
Each morning when I wake.
I talk to you, and place a kiss,
Upon your lovely face.
You should have had so many years,
To watch your life unfold.
And in the midst of this,
Watch me, your Mum grow old!
How much I miss you being here,
I really can not say.
The ache is deep inside my heart,
And never goes away.
I hope you're watching from above,
At the daily tasks I do.
And let there be no doubt at all,
I really do love you
and miss you every day.
I hear it mentioned often,
That time will heal the pain,
But if I'm being honest,
I hope it will remain.
Love you always, my son!
I need to feel you constantly,
To get me through the day.
I loved you so very much,
Why did you go away?
MOM & Dad
Through the Fall
(By: Laurel Dammann)
Today I saw the world fall apart before my eyes,
All of it blown away into the burning colored skies.
I thought no one could hear me
Crying lonesome in the street,
But someone took my hand and helped me to my feet.
I found a lonely stranger
Lost in the darkened night,
I told him that together
We could find the flickering light.
I kept him from going under,
I kept him standing tall,
Because we came together
We helped each other through the fall...
They kept me from going under,
They kept me standing tall,
Because we came together
They helped me through the fall.
7
LISTEN TO OUR STORIES
(by: Nita Aasen, St. Peter, Minnesota) Reprinted from Bereavement Magazine March/April 2000
I was in my middle-adult years when I found myself reflecting on life and how lucky I had been to not have
experienced any major catastrophes. I wondered if it were possible I could actually go through life without
experiencing some kind of tragedy. A few months later I had my answer in no uncertain terms. Two of my three
young-adult sons, Erik and David, were killed in a freak car accident on Thanksgiving Day, 1994.
Several years after experiencing this personal disaster, the entire community of St. Peter, Minnesota,
experienced a full-blown tornado on March 29, 1998. When the sirens began wailing, I turned on the local radio
station and heard an urgent warning: "Anyone who lives in St. Peter get to your basement, NOW!" The urgency in
the broadcaster's voice was real; this was not the ordinary run-of-the-mill storm warning. Our community was in
for the storm of a lifetime. Within two minutes, a tornado wall one-and-a-half miles wide roared into town at twohundred miles an hour, disrupting the lives of more than ten-thousand people.
What I saw when I emerged from the basement took my breath away. It looked like a war zone! More than a
thousand homes were destroyed or damaged, twenty-thousand trees were gone, and nearly everyone shared loss of
power or phone service for at least three weeks. Disasters are life-changing experiences for most people. Most
hurricanes, tornadoes or earthquakes, devastate an entire neighborhood. In contrast, the devastation resulting from
individual disasters, such as accidents, diseases or debilitating illnesses, are primarily limited to the immediate
family.
A common need among people experiencing disasters, no matter what kind, is to tell their stories. Yet,
prevailing cultural norms suggest that there is a greater comfort level in listening to stories about a disaster that
effects the community than there is for personal tragedy. The post-tornado victims were asked over and over
again, "Where were you during the tornado? How much damage did you have? What did the tornado look like?...
sound like?...feel like?"
These questions were conversation ice-breakers! Instant connections were made. The questions invited
everyone to tell their stories over and over again. Kiwanis, one of the community service clubs, invited people to
submit their stories for publication in a "Tornado Book." Everyone, kids and adults alike, was given the
opportunity to tell his or her story so that years from now others would have a sense of what really happened that
March tornado day.
A friend observed, "Anytime someone brings up the tornado experience in a conversation, even fifty years from
now, they will be able to tell their "tornado story."
The destruction from the tornado is mind boggling, but as a bereaved mom, the devastation that occurred from
my personal tornado is even greater. A living nightmare follows the death of a child. The debris from the loss
magnitude defies description. On the horrific day when my two sons were killed, I began a grief journey the likes
of which I could never have imagined.
Experiencing both kinds of disasters has helped me become aware of how they differ. While a community
disaster affects a large number of people, an individual death is felt only by immediate loved ones. When the
impact of a loss is limited, it becomes more difficult or uncomfortable for grievers to find others to whom they can
tell their stories of loss, grief and pain.
"Talking about our loved ones will not increase the level of sadness, instead, bringing the name of a loved one
into conversation is a treasured gift regardless of the length of time since the loss."
Sharing an individual loss with others is more likely to be a conversation stopper. Because of personal
discomfort in confronting an individual's grief, the window for sharing stories about a loved one tends to close
rather quickly. In a community-wide tragedy, it usually remains open for a great deal longer. In a few short days
or months after a personal loss, a loved one's name may be dropped from conversations. Yet the need of the loved
ones left behind to tell their story is ongoing.
The bereaved may try to slip their loved one's name into conversation, only to have the subject changed
abruptly. Because they are sensitive to social cues, the bereaved "button up." Any further sharing of personal
thoughts and feelings about loss, and life after loss, tends to become dependent on invitation.
8
One of my son's good friends was a reporter for the local newspaper, and during the first year following my
sons' deaths, his assignments would routinely bring him to my work site. He made a point to check in with me
each time. The conversations would invariably come around to talking about our mutual loss. His statement, "I
think about it all the time, but I can't say anything," was revealing. So, we conveniently gave each other a safe
place to talk about "it."
Compassionate and caring people often fall silent because they don't know how to respond appropriately to
grievers, especially when it involves the death of a young person. Feeling obligated to abide by this unspoken
request for silence, often the bereaved become silent as well.
What accounts for the difference in the level of ongoing interest in a community disaster versus a personal
tragedy? What makes it more difficult to hear grief stories that relate to the death of an individual loved one?
Might it be more comfortable to talk about things that can be replaced, homes that can be rebuilt, or trees that
can be replanted than it is to talk about people who can never be replaced? Is it too difficult to hear how family
members or friends are struggling to manage their grief? Or is it too hard to understand how a griever's entire view
of the world, and his place in it, may have taken an 180 degree turn?
Does seeing obituaries day after day, or hearing stories about death in all media forms, desensitize us to death,
grief and pain? When death is seen "from a distance," it just doesn't seem like that big a deal. However, when a
personal disaster strikes, loss is personalized into every fiber of one's being for all time.
Is there a lack of awareness that acute grief tends to transition into chronic grief and may even be lifelong? In
those situations, when grief may have no ending point, finding meaning and purpose in one's changed life becomes
the ongoing story.
Or is it because of "all of the above" that caring others do not know what or how to say it that keeps personal
grief out of conversations? Is there a fear that bringing the name of a loved one into a conversation will resurrect
painful memories and make the griever sad? Talking about our loved ones will not increase the level of sadness,
instead, bringing the name of the loved one into the conversation is a treasured gift regardless of the length of time
since the loss.
One bereaved parent captured the sentiment well, "I need to hear my daughter's name brought up in
conversations. I need to talk about her. I need to know she has not been forgotten." Many bereaved parents will
speak of the fear that their child (or children) will be forgotten. And, if they never hear anyone speak their name,
it's easy to assume that they have been forgotten.
How does one invite grievers to tell their stories? They can continue to share their personal memories and what
that person taught them about life. Besides affirming that the spirit of their loved one continues to live on in
others, it also invites grievers to share their own reflections. Others can get a sense of the loss experience from the
griever's perspective by asking a "how" or "what" question. Those openings have the advantage of encouraging
the bereaved to describe their grief journeys.
Questions such as, "It's been a year...How are your days going?" Or, "What have you found most helpful in
getting through the days?" "What kind of support have you found to be the most (or least) helpful?" Also, "In the
time since (name) died, I'm wondering what experiences you have had, if any, that have implied that you should be
"over" your grief?"
I posed this question to a middle-aged widow, whom I had never met before, and her stories poured out. Even
though I was a stranger to her, somehow she sensed she was safe with me, and she wasted no time in accepting my
invitation to tell her story.
Thankfully, there are earthly angels: friends, family members, co-workers, and strangers, who continue to share
memories and reflections about our loved ones, listen when we share our stories, invite us to share our grief
journeys with them, and support us in our efforts in learning how to live with and manage our grief. They are
lifelines to our future, but more are needed. There can never be too many earthly angels!
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Brian Ray Miller
Age 18
Murdered 10/19/1991
My dearest son. While it has been 22-years without you in our lives, I still envision you as in the poem below:
forever 18. I am amazed my life continued on for this long without you and that I managed to find joy again in
living. It is still never easy though. The pain is softer, but the journey without you is always difficult. I cannot
imagine how you would look now, though I try. You are forever young, forever smiling, forever full of hopes
and dreams. I love you dearly and always will...and look forward to the time we meet again and I can hold you
in my arms once more as does Dad, Christie your sister, her sons Brandon and Dillon, and sister Kimberlie.
Forever Eighteen (By: Beckie A. Miller )
His tender smile, that slightly crooked tooth,
Warm loving eyes that spoke life's truth.
As the years pass by in my own mind's eye,
He will always be, forever eighteen.
If love could only turn back the hands of time,
My son would again be alive.
Of his limited time for us to share,
Were whispers of warnings to help me prepare?
To lose a child before his prime,
To bear the grief for all time.
Living, loving, laughing, trying so hard to grow up,
Against a mother's tugs to keep him close
and in arm's reach.
To learn that sometimes love is not enough,
And yet... it's all that is.
I see him clearly now as I will always see him.
Never more to grow and age even as we do,
Now, I can only cherish my memories,
And see him always as he was then: forever eighteen.
A man-child, still more child than man,
taken before his time.
Never more to dream and love, his future lost too.
Written August 26, 1992
10
Memorial Wall Order Form
Please add my loved one’s name to the “Valley of
the Sun Memorial Wall in their Memories.” Each
Nameplate is $10. Our wall is displayed at many
special events across the valley during the year.
NAME__________________________________
Age:___________ Murder date: _____________
Picture Board
___Check here if sending picture for the picture
board & Holiday Memorial (no cost).
Picture Buttons
___Please make #____picture buttons of my loved
one. (Enclose photo) Each button is 3”, and costs
$5.
** Send a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope if
you want your photo returned. You may also
e-mail photo to [email protected]
*Make all checks out to POMC ….
*Mail to 19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
THANKS FOR CARING
To the Mountain View Police Precinct for
donating our Speaker meeting room; to Antioch
Church of Christ in God & Mountain View
Lutheran Churches for the Support Group
meeting rooms; to The Department of Public
Safety VOCA for the grant for our newsletter &
everyone who has donated gifts of their time,
talents and energy to our chapter activities.
With your help we are able to continue the
outreach that is needed by our community.
THE VALLEY OF THE SUN
BOARD OF DIRECTORS (2013)
Beckie Miller, Chapter-Leader .......... (623) 582-2406
Sue Osolin, Co-Leader ..................... (602) 938-4593
Don Miller, Treasurer ....................... (623) 582-2406
Mari Bailey, Co-Leader……………….(602) 405-7401
Kathy Hernandez- Secretary ............ (623) 707-6825
Tim Osolin ....................................... .(602) 938-4593
Mark LeGault…………………………..(480) 242-0038
Sandy LeGault………………………...(480) 242-0038
Angie Saucedo...................................(480) 209-8465
Amanda Harris...................................(623) 866-3189
Claudia Marco....................................(480) 634-1424
“The Journey”
Journey” Memorial
Memorial Order
Order Form
Form (newsletter)
(newsletter)
“The
Please
reserve:
□
¼
page
(donation
$10)
Please reserve:
□ ¼ page (donation $10)
□□½½page
page(donation
(donation$20)
$20)
□□Full
page
Full page(donation
(donation$40)
$40)
Month
Monthyou
youwish
wishmemorial
memorialtotoappear
appearin:__________________
in:__________________
Loved One’s Name__________________________________
Loved One’s
Date
of Birth ____________ Age _____
Name__________________________________
Date of Death_______________
Date of Birth ____________ Age _____
YOUR
Date ofName______________________________________
Death_______________
YOUR Phone Number_______________________________
A
quarter page will hold either a picture OR a brief message;
YOUR
a
half page will hold a picture and short poem OR message,
Name______________________________________
depending
on space. If a photo is included, please provide
YOUR Phone
identification
of the person on the back. If you wish the photo
Number_______________________________
to be returned include a self-addressed stamped envelope, big
Aenough
quarterfor
page
hold to
either
a picture
a brief specified,
message; a
thewill
picture
fit in.
Unless OR
otherwise
half
page size
will and
holdstructure
a picture
and text
short
ORwill
message,
location,
of the
andpoem
picture
be at
depending editor’s
on space.
If
a
photo
is
included,
please
provide
discretion and space permitting.
identification of the person on the back. If you wish the photo to
be returned include a self-addressed stamped envelope, big
*Return this form with your material for The Journey by the
enough
for the picture to fit in. Unless otherwise specified,
th
10
of thesize
month
thethe
issue
it to will
appear
location,
and preceding
structure of
textyou
andwish
picture
be in.
at
editor’s discretion and space permitting.
*A donation for the memorial page can be made by sending a
th
check
made
to POMC
with
the memorial
information
in10
care
*Return
thisout
form
with your
material
for The Journey
by the
of:
of the month preceding the issue you wish it to appear in.
Newsletter Editor, Valley of the Sun POMC
19619
North page
38thcan
Avenue
*A donation for the
memorial
be made by sending a
Glendale
AZ
85308-2215
check made out to POMC with the memorial information in
care of:
Newsletter Editor, Valley of the Sun POMC
19619 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
CONTACT NUMBERS
ON LINE SIBLING SUPPORT: Amanda Harris is our
chapter's Sibling Coordinator and has on line support
for siblings. Her contact info is 623-866-3189 or
www.unitingsiblings.com
POMC (after hrs V/M).................. ..(602) 254-8818
Chapter E-mail……………………. [email protected]
CRISIS LINE/MOBILE CRISIS TEAM
Empact Crisis Line ....................... ..(480) 784-1500
OTHER HELP LINES
Teen Lifeline ....................................... …....... .(602) 248-8336
GrandCare (Grandparents help line)….........(602) 274-5022
Crime Victims Legal Assistance Project.......(480) 965-5640
Maricopa County Attorney Victim Services...(602) 506-8522
Crime Victim Compensation.......................... (602) 506-4955
11
Return Address
PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC.
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER
19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
(602) 254-8818
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., is a self-help organization dedicated to the aftermath of
murder. The success of its mission depends upon the participation of the families and friends of
those lost to murder.
POMC number (602) 254-8818
WHY WE ARE HERE:
MISSION STATEMENT: “POMC makes the difference through ongoing emotional support,
education, prevention, advocacy, and awareness.”
VISION STATEMENT: “To provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims while
working to create a world free of murder.”
This project is supported by Grant No. 2012-VA-GX-0022 from the US Department of Justice - Office for Victims of Crime.
The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of
the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the US DOJ or the Arizona Department of Public Safety.