“How To Help Your Child With ASD Make Friendships” By Kerri Stocks

“How To Help Your Child
With ASD Make Friendships”
By Kerri Stocks
Friendships are a difficult element to teach children about. Friendships can
be painful, hard to figure out and yet can be the best experience for all
I have supplied a step by step process of helping your child on the Autistic
Spectrum Disorder make an informed choice in regards to their friends.
Understanding Friendships:
When strangers meet each other they can either spend a lot of time together
and they become friends over time or they can meet straight away and a
friendship is developed instantly!
Friends spend time together, they take turns at telling stories and share
exciting events that they have experienced. Friends have lots of fun
together and make each other laugh and smile while enjoying each other’s
company. Friends accept each other’s differences and also work very hard
at keeping the friendship together. Friends do not always agree nor do they
always work together well. That is okay to not agree on everything because
every person is so different and has different opinions and ways of thinking
about things. Friends have different likes and dislikes and that is okay,
people can still be great friends when they like different things. Friends
respect each other’s differences and friends stick up for each other when the
other is in trouble and in need of help.
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How do I know what is a good friend?
The tricky part of a friendship is how to know who is a good friend and who
may not be a person who could become a good friend. , There is a way you
can attempt to figure out the friendship journey that may make things easier
for you and your emotions.
Look at this rose
you will see it has many, many petals and
different layers. This is just like different types of friendships.
The outer petals represent people who may walk past and they are called
strangers. With people like this, you don’t share secrets or private things
that mean a lot to you.
The next row of petals represent people who you may know from sports or
other events or that you only ever see on the street and say “Hi”! Though
you may never hang out daily or tell them your secrets, they are still nice
enough to ‘greet and meet’ but that is all. These people can be called
acquaintances or associates. With these people you don’t share your secrets
or special or private things.
Because you really do not know what they are like inside
themselves and you have not spent enough time with them to see if they are
a safe person to have as a good friend.
The last row of petals
represents closer friends. These are friends
who possibly have sleepovers, go shopping, go to movies and spend fun
time together discussing the things you both enjoy. You have a lot in
common and just really enjoy each other’s company.
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Now if you peeled all of the petals off the rose you would get to the core or
centre of the rose. This is a really special place where you’re really, really
strong caring friends belong. These are people who protect you and stick up
for you, make you feel good and are there when you are crying as well as
when you are laughing and having fun. When someone is in the core of the
rose they keep your secrets safe from other people’s ears, they do not talk
about you behind your back or make you feel really bad inside your body.
To keep yourself safe and protected from mean people you need to make
sure everyone you meet starts off on your rose at the first layer of the petals
, the petals on the outside of the rose.
You see petals on roses fall off due to a lot of reasons including rough
elements – bad weather, strong rain, and unexpected destructions that the
rose may not be prepared for.
As this process of the petals falling off the rose causes the rose to no longer
look like the beautiful rose that it once was, less people will takes notice of
this rose and some may reject it, even though it is still the same rose it
always had been.
When a great friend comes your way you will know because they stay with
you through the bad times and hard times on your life and do not make fun
of you or treat you meanly. Both of you just get on together really well.
But you need to let a process take its course. You need to watch and let
time go to make sure the person works their way through the layers of
petals, which means that they show you they can be trusted and are a
decent and kind individual.
Remember to keep your private things and secrets tucked away inside you
like you pack a safe special object in a box until you know for sure you can
trust the person. This way it will save you being hurt.
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The people who were not meant to be your friends will not stay in your life
for very long.They will kind of drop off through time with the layers of your
life, like the petals drop off on the rose.
This does not mean they were ‘bad’ people as such it just meant that they
were not meant to become really close to you and share your special stuff
Note to Parents: Children’s friendships will have a lot of ups and downs
and so try to listen and give a healthy perspective to the child’s experiences
rather than an emotional reaction. It also helps to remember that it is not
always a child with ASD who is the cause of a ‘friendship’ fallout – all
children need lessons and core understanding of the foundations to being a
good friend.
I hope this was helpful to you,
Kerri Stocks
Get My FREE Home Strategy Secrets Report at www.autismspectrumwotsnormal.com