SAFER SEX: a guide for us English

a guide for us
Do you know how to ask for what you want?
Do you know how to say, “something would feel better if...”?
Do you like to talk during sex? Before or after?
Do you hate to talk about sex?
What kind of sex makes you feel unsafe?
What are you willing to do and not do with a partner?
What is your partner willing to do and not do with you?
Would you rather stop having sex or try doing it with latex?
You know, it’s OK to have a hard time with safer sex. Actually,
you’d be strange if you never had any difficulty talking about it
or being safe all the time.
So there’s a thing out there called HIV. HIV has no biases for or
against a group of people. It does, however, like certain fluids in
your body, which have a high level of white blood cells. Therefore,
it affects all people who do things which transmit those fluids
from one person to another, regardless of sexual identity, gender,
age, race, ability, class or regional location.
HIV lives inside white blood cells in blood, semen, pre-cum, vaginal
fluids (i.e. cum, discharge, ejaculate, etc.) and menstrual blood.
HIV can also be transmitted through breast milk. Saliva, tears, and
sweat have such low traces of white blood cells that you’d have to
drink gallons at one time to put yourself at risk. Urine is sterile and
does not transmit HIV. Your shit often has blood in it, and is,
therefore, unsafe.
It’s all about choices. Most importantly, your choices.
You choose what sexual play you want to engage in. You
choose how much protection to use against HIV or Sexually
Transmitted Diseases (STDs). You choose what to use in
your sexual play.
“Safer sex” means using latex or some other barrier during
sex to keep yourself and your partner(s) from exchanging
fluids which carry HIV and other STDs.
Safer sex means educating yourself, planning in advance to
have enough condoms/latex close at
hand. If you have to get out of bed,
go into another room, or if you simply left the stuff at home, you’re giving yourself one more excuse to play
It’s not automatic. While some things
about sex “come naturally,” good sex
(and good safer sex) usually takes
practice. Before using something new
during sex with another person, play
with it by yourself so that you can get comfortable with it.
Safer sex means being okay with talking about what
you want.
That can include “let’s use this” and “I don’t want to do
that” and “a little more to the right...”
So many colors, so many sizes, so many shapes, so little time. Used correctly,
they are the best method of preventing HIV transmission and other STDs for all
sexual positions.
There are three main types of condoms: latex, natural skins, and polyurethane.
The most common condoms are made of latex. They work best with lots of
water-based lubricants. Don’t use any oil-based lubricants (i.e. Vaseline, baby
oil, cooking oil, etc.), because they will destroy the condom.
Natural skin condoms are made from animal intestines, such as sheep, and do
not prevent the transmission of HIV or STDs. Some people are allergic to latex
and like to use natural skin condoms in combination with a latex condom.
Polyurethane condoms are made from a form of plastic. You can use oil-based
lubricants as well as water-based lubricants with Polyurethane condoms. They
feel totally different, so check them out in advance.
1. Put a new condom on the dick or dildo before entering your partner each time. Once
the dick is hard, reach for a condom. Be careful not to tear the condom with your nails
or teeth while opening it.
2. Place a couple of drops of water-based lubricant on the tip of the condom. Squeeze
the tip as you place it on the head of the dick or dildo. This will add more sensitivity
and provide room for ejaculation.
3. Roll it all the way down the penis or dildo.
4. Use lots of water-based lube on the condom for fucking.
5. Fuck like bunnies.
1. When you’re done, pull out of your partner while you are still hard, by holding
onto the base of the condom to prevent
cum from spilling onto your partner.
2. Carefully unroll the condom off the dick
or dildo and tie it into a knot so that the
cum doesn’t leak out.
3. Throw the condom away. Never reuse it.
Never use a condom more than once.
If you accidentally put a condom on the
wrong way, use a new one. Some of your
pre-cum may have gotten onto the outside
of the condom.
Store condoms in a cool, dry, dark place.
Never in your wallet, back pocket, or in the
car because heat can damage the condom.
For all “digital play” (i.e. using your fingers in
someone’s vagina or anus) wear a latex glove,
and use lots of lube. Your hands may look OK,
but HIV is microscopic. Gloves make everything
smoother, silkier, and safer.
1. You can get boxes of gloves at beauty supply houses. If you’re sensitive to the powder on gloves (or on latex), they are sold without powder
at medical supply houses.
2. If you’ll be changing holes mid-play (e.g. anus to vagina, one butt to
another, etc.) put on two gloves at the beginning. Then, when you want
to switch, just take one off, and you’re ready.
3. Try lube on the inside of the glove. You’ll feel more, and the glove will
seem thinner.
For a lot of sex play, especially with latex, using a lubricant of some kind is highly
recommended. The more lube, the less friction, the “smoother the ride.”
Many lubes contain Nonoxynol-9, which does help fight HIV, but may also cause an allergic reaction. Women and people with HIV are especially sensitive to it. Taste the lubricant
and if your tongue becomes numb or you get a rash on your lips, you’re allergic to it.
Keep some water nearby wherever you have sex (in a spray bottle or a squirt gun).
If your lube begins to dry out, spray a little water.
For your travel pack, pick up lube samples from anywhere you buy lube. You can also
pick up free samples from your local health offices, AIDS outreach services, and from
HIV testing sites.
Try different lubes for different sex plays (masturbation, anal or vaginal sex)
Lube makes everything wet and slippery. You can feel more. So can your partner(s).
You can play longer. A lot longer!
Using Nonoxynol-9 without a condom or gloves does not prevent HIV transmission.
Already around many households, plastic wrap can be used for oral
sex on women or for rimming (eating butt). You can buy microwavable or not, just use a name brand (they’re more reliable).
Take it out of the box to unroll and cut by tearing it, so you don’t
get cut by the little razor edge on the box.
Put some lube on his/her skin before wrapping. It’ll feel better and
it will stay in place.
Don’t stretch the wrap tight, just lay it against the skin with lube.
This will help keep it from tearing, and you’ll also be licking all those
nooks and crannies, not a flat sheet of plastic.
Plastic wrap is clear, thin, and strong, and doesn’t taste like latex.
You can see through it. It also comes in rolls so you aren’t restricted
by size. Plastic wrap is also useful as a restraint...
So the deal with sucking cock and licking pussy is that there is some
risk of getting HIV that way. Not as risky as through fucking, but the
main thing to remember is that the risk is there.
For sucking cock, use a condom. Practice putting it on with your
mouth – surprise your partner! If you’re sucking off someone who’s too
small for a condom, or if you just hate the taste of latex, loosely wrap
your target in plastic wrap and suck away.
For muff diving (licking pussy) you have many options:
1) You can use plastic wrap
2) Cut up a condom or glove into a flat piece of latex
3) Use a latex dam (use one of the ones designed for sex.
Dental dams are too thick and were meant for your dentist).
Whatever you use, put lots of lube on your partner’s skin
first, then eat them up!
Asian and Pacific Islander, Queer & Questioning, Under 25, Altogether
a program of the
Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center
Community HIV/AIDS Services
730 Polk Street, 4th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94109
[415] 292.3400 FAX [415] 292.3404
e-mail address: [email protected]
Written by Cianna Stewart and Henry Ocampo
Art Direction and Design by Chris Habana
Graphic Consultation by Robert Kato Design
Photography by Rebekah Kao
Special Thanks for the Contributions made by The Models and Assistants
Funded by Center of Disease Control and AT&T/Magic Johnson Foundation