The Girlfriend Game Tom Torero and Steve Saporro Copyright 2012 by

The Girlfriend Game
Tom Torero and Steve Saporro
Copyright 2012 by
Smashwords Edition
Introduction - Why This Book Is So Important
1. Neediness
* Why neediness will always lose
* Can you fake abundance?
* How to cultivate abundance
* Self-belief
* Common mistakes and solutions
2. Romance Before Sex
* Disney romance vs. roMANce
* Why the nice guy finishes last
* Leading
* roMANtic sex
* Is romance dead?
3. Not Knowing What Girls Think About Sex
* Myths about girls and sex
* Sex without the sacred
* Hard sex
* Action steps
4. Male/Female Polarity
* Blurring of the polarity
* Facing your fear
* What is ‘masculine’?
* Action steps
5. Lack Of Action
* Why you're not taking action
* How to change your self-image
* Conjuring instant confidence
* Create a vision
* You're going to die
Bonus: Questions to ask yourself.
Why This Book Is So Important by Anna
Some say school days were the best days of their lives. I feel sorry for them.
There is so much more to learn about the world and so much we weren’t
educated about at school.
As a guy, you never understood why the bad boys got the girls.
You could never figure out why she didn’t text you back.
You never learned why nice guys don't ever win with the girls.
You never discovered how to get the girl you want.
Nobody ever explained to you why the traditional view of romance doesn’t
Nobody ever taught you how to create abundant dating lives.
Nobody ever told you what women really wanted.
You never learned why you have this fear of talking to girls you like and how
to overcome it.
You never knew how to give women what they wanted sexually.
All of these things you have a right to learn.
We live such a fast paced and finite life – I know you don’t like making
mistakes. There isn’t enough time to make mistakes when you want
something right this instant.
We are on this planet to learn every day of our lives and if you didn’t learn
something today then you are about to now.
This book you are about to read is written (by my friends Steve & Tom) based
upon many years of sleeping with, interacting with, dating and having
relationships with women.
I’m happy that you are about to make a new start in this important part of your
The guys who are naturally successful with women have still come about their
success by finding the best path forward. They may have had a mentor, their
dad may have been good with women or they may have pretended to be
homosexual in order to speak more deeply to women – who knows.
No guy is born a natural success with women, everyone learns somehow and
everyone makes mistakes.
You wouldn't believe the amount of pain it's taken to get where Steve and
Tom are now. But, they are thankful for this pain; with massive pain and
failure comes great success.
It all starts with not even being able to go and say hello to a girl you like
because you are worried about getting rejected.
Then you’ll worry about what you should say to her.
Then you’ll text her something stupid and lose another girl.
Then you'll lose her on a date because you didn’t do the right things.
Then she'll be on your bed and she'll leave you and make you want to jump
out of a window.
You don’t have to go through all this pain. This is why this book is in front of
your eyes right now.
This book and are here to start eliminating
mistakes and give you everything you want in life.
Ultimately, getting the girlfriend you want is not dependent on the girl. You
have to make the choice to develop yourself as much as you can and this is
the first small stepping-stone.
Too many guys settle for the first girl that likes them, thinking he can’t do any
better. I’m sure you know guys like this.
Finding a girlfriend has never seemed so tricky for the average guy. With an
explosion in online living, face-to-face social interactions have dwindled.
Urban jungles and laptop working have been nails in the coffin for
conversation, charisma and chance meetings.
Tom, Steve and myself have started a journey to create a movement, to
create social impact.
We want you to have the relationship you want in your life, have fun getting
her and learn more about yourself along the way.
We aim to educate you about the truth of what works in the dating world and
how you can cultivate choice and abundance in your life.
All that is required from you is action. You can’t accept any less than moving
forward each day. You can’t let the Little You inside you win over the Big You
wanting to burst through.
The Little You is negative and won’t go and speak to a girl. The Little You
doesn’t think he deserves a gorgeous girl, the Little You runs away from fear
instead of stepping towards it.
You have to make that guy disappear; you don’t need him anymore. It is with
this book he dies. RIP. Let the Big You arise and become who you are
supposed to be.
Without further ado, we’ll now push you into the top five mistakes that guys
make when trying to make a girl his girlfriend.
Each section comes with an explanation of why you might lose a girl and then
some action points to make sure it never happens again.
So much of this is about action. Take the time to apply what we say and go
out and act upon it.
If Sean and Tom can do it, you can do it too.
I’m here to help you all of the way…
Anna xxx
Tom Torero, 32 is a founder of and an executive
coach at He can be reached at [email protected]
Steve is the founder of and Raw Attraction
Magazine and has dedicated himself to help teach guys the stuff he wish he
knew when he was 18. He’s now 29.
Mistake 1. Neediness
Why neediness will always lose
Nothing is a bigger turn-off in any interaction between two human beings than
neediness. Nothing kills attraction more. It’s like taking an AK-47 to any kind
of hope you had with a girl.
Being needy means seeking something from another person, trying to win
over their attention by sucking on their energy and time.
The imbalance is sickening. A friendship or a relationship can quickly shift
from harmonious to creepy.
Neediness can also mean that you are ‘nice’ to everyone so that everyone
likes you. You won’t step out and state your opinion in a conversation. You
won’t do something out of the ordinary to stand out from the crowd.
Neediness screams a lack of choice, of desperation. For the other person it’s
exhausting; they just want you to go get a life.
It comes from the absence of abundance; living in a world of scarcity. You
become like the beggar on the street – needing people to live. You are not the
beggar on the street; you don’t need anybody. You are better than that.
A guy with no dating options in his life and no idea of how to go about getting
any is, by definition, needy.
He desperately wants what he can’t have (which might actually be sex, not a
girlfriend immediately).
This neediness manifests itself in thousands of little ways. It triggers negative
thought patterns, it can be seen in the way he walks, holds himself, smiles
and looks at girls.
Girls have a sixth sense for this. Instinctively they can smell if a guy has
options or not. Desperation will be the first thing that causes her to turn away.
Can you fake abundance?
You are probably thinking it's a complete Catch-22 situation - you have no
girls but you need girls in your life to get more girls.
Well, you’re in luck. It IS possible to fake 'till you make it.
You must wholeheartedly remember that faking abundance is no long-term
solution. The real solution is to cultivate abundance (which we’ll come onto
Abundance is when you live a life of choice, variety and great pleasure. It’s a
life that we all want to live. You can only have this real abundance when you
go out and meet as many women as possible. There is no other option.
Sure, it’s going to feel unnatural and girls will pick up on this for the first few
months, but after forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, things will start
clicking and fiction will become reality.
You are the sum of your actions. What you do repeatedly, you become. You
must take action regardless of how you feel. Your feelings are not important,
your actions are.
You MUST become a man of action and not a man of reaction.
When I started this journey of getting good with girls and finding a girlfriend,
there were no girls in my life.
A Cambridge-educated geek, I had barely set foot in a nightclub, didn’t drink
alcohol, had only two male friends and zero fashion sense.
My only option was to fake it. One of my friends took me to a nightclub and
bought me beers. I danced like a fool. I felt really uncomfortable. People
laughed at me. But it was an action step, an action step in the right direction.
Photos of me dancing with girls went on Facebook. A female friend of a friend
took me to a shopping centre and gave my wardrobe a make-over.
I got laser eye surgery to ditch my thick-rimmed glasses. I took a powerful
drug (Roaccutane) to get rid of my acne. I saw a physio about my terrible
When I moved to London I signed up to the website and went to
events where I could mingle with people – free walking tours, a pub group, a
comedy club.
In London I learned the skill of how to stop, attract and get phone numbers
from women during the day – find out more about this on
For six months I forced myself to speak to at least one random girl each day.
Over that time I collected lots of emails, Facebook details and phone numbers
as well as going on some dates.
The nightclub stuff was still feeling unnatural, but I was getting desensitised to
meeting girls during the day.
I also signed up to an online dating website and fired off hundreds of
messages to random girls. This led to a few email conversations back and
forth and a hand full of dates.
Slowly, over a year or so, I went from having no conversational skills and very
little confidence to someone who could chat to people, go out socially and
maintain some strong friendships.
The uncomfortable and unnatural feelings of socialising and flirting turned into
something I actually enjoyed doing.
My diary was filling up. I had girls’ numbers in my phone. I didn’t need to just
chase that one girl at work.
I was becoming more self-assured and not letting people walk all over me.
Faking it was turning into making it.
How to cultivate abundance
Replacing neediness with abundance is the most important mindset when it
comes to finding a girlfriend you want.
Having lots of girls in your life will stop the neediness creeping back. You can
only fake this abundance for so long. You’ll eventually reach a tipping point
with so many girls in your life, once you’ve gone and approached them.
Even if you’re not dating all the girls, just having them around will begin to
start an abundance mentality.
Just like I did, explore all of the different ways of getting girls into your life as
described on
Join groups and clubs, begin to go out at night, set up social events yourself,
have a go at online dating, interact with girls out and about during the day.
Collect contact details of as many girls as possible (even if it’s just friendly or
for networking). Female social circles are very important and you should try to
cultivate more and more of them.
Sort out your Facebook profile so there’s not a hint of neediness. Remove the
status updates where you say how much you love your mum etc.
Get some shots of you doing sport, at a gig, smiling, with girls at work or at a
social event.
Appear busy – take time to reply to messages, never bombard a girl with date
Turn your text/email questions into statements e.g. ‘What are you up to?’
simply becomes ‘I bet you’re causing mischief again.’ It stops the leech effect.
Make your messages shorter than hers. Tell her you’ve had a ‘crazy day’ or a
‘mad week’ at work. Say you’re not free Mon-Tue as you’re out of town, but
Thursday should be ok.
Don’t agree with everything a girl says. Set Boundaries on Bullshit (B.O.B)
and be willing to challenge and tease. That’s very attractive to a girl.
Stop dwelling on that one ‘dream’ girl at work, in the store or at college.
Accept that there are over 3 billion women in the world, 1 billion of which are
of dating age.
Make a female group of friends that you’re not going to hit on. Make this clear
to them.
Go out with them and party or socialise. Just having them around you will kill
any kind of needy vibe. Let them be your wing-girls and watch your social
proof sky-rocket.
I started to do this professionally – meeting big groups of girls during the day
and bringing them to nightclubs. I’d get paid by the club for each girl I got
through the door, and then I’d sit at a VIP table drinking free alcohol
surrounded by up to 20 girls.
Once I started collecting one phone number every day, it meant I was going
on 2-3 dates a week from meeting women during the day.
If a girl cancelled, or the date went badly, it didn’t really affect me anymore, as
I knew I could just hit the streets and find another girl.
Actually pushing away girls because I was too busy made them chase me
(what I call ‘Flipping-The-Script’), which is a great position to be in. For once
you feel what it’s like to be the buyer not the seller, the chooser rather than
the chosen.
Neediness MUST be replaced by abundance. You don’t have a choice about
The more positive feedback loops your brain has in terms of women the
better, you just have to go and obtain them.
The human mind is prone to thinking negatively when it faces fear, thinking
‘What if this happens…?’ When you start to have good experiences, you can
start to invigorate your mind with these positive feedback loops.
Here is an example of a positive feedback loop that will put you on the path to
‘I approached that girl, we went out for a date in a gorgeous bar near mine.
We were laughing and joking. I kissed her in the bar. I took her back to mine
and we fucked.’
Even such things as…
‘I approached a girl, she loved it. I got her number.’
Or as small as…
‘I approached a girl, she didn’t kill me.’
Sounds stupid, but even a small thing like this is a positive feedback loop.
These are all very important to keep in your mind to make yourself take more
action – which is something we talk about in the final chapter.
Don’t underestimate this abundance mindset. Women can read you like a
Having girls in your life and learning first and foremost to be social gives you
positive reference experiences.
These are positive feedback loops that, if repeated, turn into new beliefs
about you.
You need proof, not promises. Just reading this book alone and then having a
sneaky wank to Lela Star is not going to help give you this abundant mindset.
(This book will help more than a wank though).
After graduating from Cambridge, these were some of my self-beliefs:
* I am ugly
* I am a nerd
* I am terrible with women
* I lack confidence in social environments
* I like being alone
These came from years of bullying at school and the negative reference
experiences I had had with girls and being sociable.
These beliefs ruled my behaviour - I didn't go out, I buried my head in solo
activities (reading, music, the internet), I mumbled when I spoke, I walked with
terrible posture, I didn't care what I looked like as I avoided social situations
and new people.
After three years of self-improvement and learning the skill set of meeting and
attracting women during the day, those self-beliefs have become:
* I don’t have naturally good looks, but it doesn’t matter when it comes to
dating the most beautiful women (my girlfriend is a catwalk model)
* I am a nerd at heart, but that just adds to my likeability in social situations
* I am very good with women and one of the best daygamers in the world
* I am very confident in pretty much all social environments
* I like my own time and space, but love spending time with friends, family and
These beliefs have radically changed my behaviour. I'm now a sociable guy
with a big circle of friends, I've dated models, strippers and stunning girls, I
enjoy meeting people and social situations, I dress well and take care over my
Which beliefs are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’? It’s a stupid question, as your beliefs are
you. My actions mirror my beliefs. Previously they were negative, now they
are positive.
You’re surrounded by things that reinforce your beliefs about yourself: friends,
family, media. They don’t mean to do it, as they can’t see what impact it’s
having on you deep inside.
Don’t let them be a barrier to your success with dating. In the beginning they
might question some of your changes in behaviour (going out more, joining
clubs) but soon they’ll see the positive transformations.
Taking away all the needy elements of my social interactions and replacing
them with an abundance mentality has had a profoundly positive impact on all
areas of my life – not just with girls.
My family has noticed the transformation. I feel empowered at work. I feel
happy talking to a group of guys who once I would have felt ‘inferior’ to. I’m no
longer worried about public speaking. I feel totally energised.
You’ve been locked for far too long inside the prison of your own negative
You haven’t realised that the door is locked from the inside and all you need
to do is push the handle.
That’s exactly what is encouraging you to do.
Common mistakes and solutions
Watch guys on trains, tubes, planes, in cafes, pubs, bars, on the street. You’ll
see needy behaviour everywhere.
If you look closer, you’ll start to see patterns. You’ll also see how it repels
(and even repulses) women, while the non-needy guys attract them
Here are some of the most common mistakes, with the solutions to each one
Needy mistake: He showers the girl with flowers, chocolates, dinners, movies
etc. before he’s had sex with her. It’s just a longer form of prostitution if you
think about it – paying for sex.
Solution: Don’t invest either time or money in a girl unless you know she’s
sexually interested in you. Make her buy things for you – she’ll love investing.
Needy mistake: He bombards her with texts and phone calls. She doesn’t
reply so he sends more, demanding to see her for a date.
Solution: Play hard-to-get. Send short replies. Seem busy. Cancel if she’s
playing games. Take time to reply.
Needy mistake: He needs to be with her every minute of the day. He clings
onto her like a leech while out and about.
Solution: Show her that you’re an independent, busy guy who’s got a full life
without her. Make her crave your attention. Give her the gift of chasing you.
Mistake: He agrees with everything she says. He lets her walk all over him
and lets her play games.
Solution: Have your own opinions. Be willing to challenge and disagree if
that’s how you really feel. Tell her if her behaviour is not acceptable…. She’s
late, she’s asking you to pay for everything, she keeps cancelling dates etc.
Needy mistake: He leans in, nods, grins, says ‘oh cool’ and ‘wow!’ to whatever
she says. His body language, vocabulary and behaviour scream kiss ass.
Solution: NEVER lean in to a girl, even if it's a noisy club or a busy street.
Speak louder. Kill all supplicating language. Use the word ‘ok’ instead.
Needy mistake: He tries to ‘entertain’ girls with constant jokes and banter. She
laughs so he carries on. It's all very try hard. She enjoys the attention and free
circus show.
Solution: While a bit of teasing is good to get her attracted, be a man...not a
dancing monkey. The vibe needs to be seductive, not Saturday night TV or
stand-up comedy.
Needy mistake: He obsesses about one girl that he’s been infatuated with for
months or years in his class, workplace or town. He believes that if he just
hangs around her, then one day she’ll notice him.
Solution: Forget her fast – move on. Build abundance, date lots of girls and,
ironically, that original girl might then sit up and take notice.
Needy mistake: He pretends to be ‘friends’ with all the girls in his life as he
hopes to sneak into her pants one day by ‘being there for her.’
Solution: Make your intentions clear to a girl you’re spending time with. If I
fancy them, I’ll always let them know that as soon as possible so I don’t waste
time on the girls that want to waste mine. Examples could be seductive eye
contact, hand holding when you lead a girl somewhere, going for a kiss (even
if she turns away the first time), taking her to your room or giving her a back
massage. You can tell a girl you like her verbally, but it's riskier. Never do it by
text message or phone call - that will kill everything. If you do it verbally (in
person) I always recommend doing it in a teasing way, telling her you're not
going to be her gay best friend.
Needy mistake: He ‘Likes’ pictures of hot ‘friends’ on Facebook and tries to
sneak into a girl’s life by ass-kissing on her social media sites. She thinks he’s
a gay best friend; he’s desperate that she’ll notice him.
Solution: Pimp up your profile and never kiss-ass on other people’s pages.
Post something cool and let them come to you, or tease hot girls to provoke
them into investing.
Needy mistake: He believes that big muscles, a big car or a big bank balance
will get the girl of his dreams, so he pours his efforts into this to ironically
avoid talking to girls.
Solution: Realise that none of this matters. Cut out the middle-man and just
work on your social skills. I’ve got below average looks, no money, no
muscles and no car, but I’ve dated stunning girls that most men will never
have access to.
Needy mistake: You empathise with her negative traits and say ‘Ah, it’s okay
you are always late/unhealthy/don’t keep fit.’
Solution: Without being a dictator, don't pander to the way she lives her life.
Provide order to her chaos - it's very attractive. Imagine you were her dad for
a minute; would you let her live the life she is living? No. Provide some logic
for her. It doesn’t mean you have to organise her life, just speak up
occasionally like a man.
Mistake 2 – Romance Before Sex.
Disney romance vs roMANce
It's time to redefine what you think of as romantic.
The clue is hidden within the word itself and we have re-written the word to
explain that hidden meaning. It’s all about being a man! Hence the…
There are more clues hidden in romance novels. Women LOVE romance
novels. Do you know what these romance novels are really about? Why
women read them so much?
I bet you don’t know…
It’s because the hero uses some measure of physical force, he takes the
woman sexually, despite her reluctance, protestations and resistance.
Slam that into your bed of fucking rose petals.
In the book ‘What Women Think About Sex’ it’s noted that in research of over
900 women, those women with big social circles, the extrovert girls, enjoyed
these sexual force fantasies even more.
Women enjoy submitting to men. This is how they see romance. Not some
lavish candles and flowers affair. A woman who is used to having power in her
social life or at work feels that it’s nice to just let go and give someone else
control. It’s a woman’s fantasy to be overpowered and forced to surrender.
Try empathy for a moment, get into a females mind…how sexy is it that a man
feels such passion and intent for her that his masculine emotions just
overpower her and she has to fuck him?
Think of giant apes, gorillas, this is how they do it. It’s the most overbearing
and powerful male that does all the mating. His intent is undeniable; he simply
cannot be denied what he wants.
You don’t act on these emotions that are natural because society has
imprisoned your mind in some kind of Disney Land where Mariah Carey is
singing into your ear. Fuck that. Get in the real world. This is what we are
teaching you and it’s the truth. This is your enlightenment.
Why the nice guy finishes last
For years girls told me I was the ‘nice guy.’ The polite one, the considerate
guy, the make-your-mum proud one.
I didn't want to tread on toes. I didn't want to rock the boat.
At school I was surrounded by the opposite - the ‘bad boys’ who ended up
sleeping with the girls.
It didn't make sense in my head - nice behaviour wasn't rewarded with dating
or sex.
That's what it had shown in the movies. That's what I had read in all the
The point I was missing was that ‘nice’ often equates to needy, while it's just
one main element of ‘bad’ that attracts the girls - leading.
The ‘bad boys’ at school would be uneducated, impolite, rude and aggressive,
but they were the masters of confident leading.
Unapologetically they would go for what they want. It was cave man, it was
brash, it was almost animalistic, but it worked.
Male leading to a female is deeply attractive on a fundamental biological
This is the roMANce we should be talking about. The original stuff, the stuff
that exists under the sickly-sweet Disney interpretation.
Think James Bond, think Top Gun, think Sylvester Stallone, think Fight Club,
think Rat Pack. Forget Poca-fucking-hontas.
Replace ‘nice guy’ with ‘roMANtic guy’....A guy who knows that leading is
It's our biological imperative as a man to lead. You can't escape from this
responsibility, which your genes have given you.
Have a think for a second about which elements of dating require you to manup and lead...
Keep thinking...
...It's a trick question, because the answer is ALL of them. If at any point in the
dating ritual the girl is leading, then something is wrong.
Here's the key leading points that girls find utterly attractive in a guy:
* He gets her phone number
* He sets up the date
* He takes control on the date
* He initiates the kiss
* He takes her home
* He initiates sex
That's a lot of leading. But that's a lot of potential roMANtic behaviours that
girls find irresistible.
So we can define real roMANtic traits as things you do for a girl that come
from a place of strength, not neediness.
You do them to lead and move the interaction forward, not because you want
to please her and you're hoping she'll lead for you.
Have a look at some more detailed examples of roMANtic behaviours you can
start implementing:
* You stop her on the street, tell her you find her attractive and get her phone
number. Perhaps you even take her on an instant date if your daygame skills
are good – see for more information.
* You remain non-reactive to her emotional outbursts, keeping calm and
centered like a rock in a storm.
* You smile at her with a flirty, cheeky smile instead of a clown grin.
* You use leading language instead of asking. ‘Let's meet Wednesday at 7pm’
instead of ‘When would be good for you to meet this week?’
* You come up with a date plan and take her from venue to venue.
* You order your drink confidently and help her choose hers.
* You tell her to go and find two seats while you stand at the bar and order
the drinks.
* You ensure the conversation is moving in the right direction to avoid the
* You deal with interruptions from guys and girls calmly and firmly without
going into fight-mode (although defending her physically if it comes to it is
very attractive roMANtically).
* You break rapport by stating your own opinions and challenging her.
Boundaries On Bullshit (B.O.B) are set.
* You buy the first drink, and get her to buy the second. This subtle move
eliminates the ‘gold-diggers.’
* You get her to bring you a $1 or £1 gift to the date, and you get one for her.
It's fun, but it sets the frame.
* You make dates with you random, quirky, fun and adventurous. Replace
dinner and a movie with the zoo, bike riding, cocktail making or hiking.
* You're sociable and calibrated with people around her on dates – you banter
with café staff, you spend time talking to the doorman of the club.
* You keep strong, flirty (but not stalker) eye contact so she knows it's on.
* You initiate physical contact...hand-holding, massage etc.
* You initiate the kiss, and kiss her properly.
* You hail the cab or jump on the night bus first, with a plan of how to take her
to yours or go to hers.
* If you can't use your place or her place, you find the park, the car or the
bathroom where you can get down to business and fuck her.
* You initiate sex by picking her up and throwing her on the bed, or starting
* You remain strong while her logical mind throws out reasons why you
shouldn't have sex. You listen to what her body is saying and escalate
* You fuck her like a man. Good and proper. Hard and dominantly. I can't
stress this one enough.
roMANtic sex
There's nothing more roMANtic than satisfying a girl's sexual desires.
Fucking is the genetic reason we're on this planet.
Make her cum for as long as possible, in as many ways as possible.
Make the sex last 3 hours, not 3 minutes.
Fuck her like she's never been fucked before.
I can promise you that if you give her the best sex of her life, she'll be back for
Is romance dead?
Now, back to the Disney Romance. Is it a complete lie?
Well, after you've slept with a girl then it's time for deciding if that rush of
emotions was lust or something more.
There's clarity after having slept with someone. You can both decide whether
to take it further to something deeper, or keep it casual and just enjoy the sex.
If you do feel like you want to take things further in the girlfriend direction, then
make sure it's not just because it's regular sex-on-tap.
Have other options still going before you fully commit to a relationship.
This will ensure you're getting into it for the right reasons.
Once in a relationship, it's time to sprinkle the Disney Romance onto the core
Input into the relationship should be 50-50.
You take her for dinner… she buys a DVD for you.
You go round to hers and cook for her…she organises a bike ride in the
You buy her flowers…she buys you cinema tickets.
This is the time for walks by the river, dinner under the stars, weekend
holidays and concerts.
Now it's about doing all of these things because you're both investing, not just
because you're trying to buy your way into her pants.
See the difference?
Mistake 3. Not Knowing What Girls Think About Sex
Myths About Girls And Sex
Women want sex.
Women need sex.
Women love sex.
Women think about sex just as much as you do, if not more.
That’s easy for you to read, but very hard for you to accept.
There are two main reasons for this…
The first comes down to biology.
Evolutionary and sociological reasons mean that women can’t be as open and
blatant about their sex lives as men.
Their ‘reproductive value’ is at risk if they’re seen as a ‘slut’ or ‘cheap.’
Women don’t get many shots at going through the reproductive process, so
each one matters.
Men, on the other hand, can keep firing the gun until they’re old and wrinkled.
Society celebrates the promiscuous male as a ‘stallion’ because he’s
demonstrating his strength and health.
Because women therefore have to keep their sexual thoughts and actions
private (unless it’s to very close female friends) so they’re not judged, men
don’t get to hear what they’re really thinking.
The second reason why men don’t know what women think about sex is that
they’re covering their ears to the truth.
From the maternal figures in your childhood to the idolised dream girl image
you have in your head, men don’t want to shatter their illusion of women as
We should ask Freud to expand on this.
It’s a common saying that men want to sleep with the porn star but marry the
wholesome girl. That’s what I’m referring to.
Men are happy to masturbate to girls on the Internet acting out every sexual
fantasy in the book, but they can’t bring themselves to imagine that the girl
they fancy at work is fantasising about the same things.
Open a basic biology textbook to Chapter One. Girls are biological beings.
They eat, they sleep and they shit.
If I was to tell you that the girl you fancy at college has never had a shit
because she’s somehow angelic, you’d laugh.
If I was to tell you that the girl you fancy at college/work/the local coffee shop
doesn’t watch porn, doesn’t have a vibrator, doesn’t do one-night-stands,
doesn’t love giving blowjobs, then you’d believe me because she’s ‘different.’
It’s time for me to teach you more about the Birds and the Bees my son.
I’m going to tell you what your mum and dad didn’t.
Girls need sex, just like we do. It’s the biological reason for existence.
The eating and sleeping part is just to help our genes replicate.
Read some Darwin if you’re still not convinced.
Girls have the clitoris. The sole purpose of a clitoris is just for sexual pleasure.
They begin thinking about sex at an earlier age than guys and on average a
woman’s sex drive is higher than a man.
Women just can’t admit what they’re really thinking about sex because society
would label them a ‘whore.’
They have to live out their fantasies in private – just watch romantic
comedies or soaps, flick through women’s magazines. It’s all about sex, just in
a socially acceptable way.
In the last few years some girls have been brave enough to stand out from the
crowd and put the truth on paper.
Read Abby Lee’s factual account of her sex life in her book ‘Girl With A One
Track Mind’ to get an idea.
We might well have some surprises up our sleeve if you’re signed up to the
email on too ;)
Sex Without The Sacred
In the last three years I’ve dated 200+ women and slept with over 100 of
This has given me privileged access to knowing what women really think
about sex, what fantasies they have and what they’re willing to do behind
closed doors.
Most men assume that most women think of sex as sacred, or as a prize.
It’s based on what we see in films and what we read in books.
Men are portrayed as the ones thinking about sex every few seconds, while
women are painted in a holy light of near celibacy.
How wrong can you be?
Even though many women might only have a few sexual partners in their
lifetimes, they still have amazingly rich and colourful fantasies and sexual
A long-term relationship or marriage stops them fulfilling these desires, but
they’re there under the White Picket Fence veneer.
Before you jump to conclusions, the girls I’ve dated have come from all walks
of life – rich, poor, white, black. There have been students, nurses, lecturers,
shop girls, an airhostess, doctors, housewives, travellers, journalists and
They’ve ranged from 18 to 35 years old and come from over 40 different
Aren’t you glad I did all the hard statistical analysis for you?! ;)
I want to share with you some of the sexual adventures I’ve had with girls, not
to brag but to open up your eyes to what girls really think about sex.
* Met a college girl in Oslo on the street outside my apartment and 15 minutes
later was fucking her inside.
* Met an English model on the tube in London who was going to a friend’s
birthday. She got off at my stop instead and 30 minutes later we were fucking.
* Met two German girls in Leicester Square one evening that wanted to go to
a club before flying home early the next day. Partied with them for a bit, they
came back to mine and we all fucked each other.
* Fucked a lawyer in a bar toilet an hour into our first date.
* Saw a student every week for fucking while her boyfriend was living in
* Slept with a Russian woman who was on a business trip from Moscow. Her
husband was back home.
* Fucked an English nanny in her small room while her host family and the
kids she was looking after were downstairs.
* Met a Greek doctor in a club, took her outside and fucked her in a park after
30 minutes.
* Met a Peruvian PhD student on her first day in London and took her back to
my house for lunch and fucking.
* Fucked an American nurse in the toilet of a tourist boat going down the
* Had a blowjob from a Chinese student in a side street of central London
after meeting her an hour earlier.
* Made a homemade porn film with a Latvian girl who loved fucking while
watching porn.
I’ve fucked girls with my best friend (it’s a very common fantasy for a girl to
want two guys to fuck her) and had foursomes with the same guy and girls
that he’s been dating.
I’ve taken girls to gay clubs and watched them fulfil their fantasy of
making out with another girl.
I’ve taken girls I’m dating to strip clubs to let them fulfil their fantasies of
having a private dance.
I’ve been with girls to fetish clubs to find girls together and let her live out her
darkest desires.
Does this make me one sick boy?
No – I’ve wanted to do these things, and so have the girls. We were all just
open and honest about our sexual desires.
The liberation this has given me has been immense.
My eyes opened to the fact that a woman’s words and a woman’s actions are
two very different things when it comes to sex.
Even though they have to say they don’t sleep around and only enjoy sex in a
monogamous relationship, they do just as many crazy things as us guys.
Women can easily separate sex and love. They’re having sex all the time, or
at least imagining it.
One Spanish girl (a librarian!) told me how she sits on the tube and imagines
sucking every guy’s cock on her way to work each day.
Another English girl told me how she masturbates three times a
day, sometimes in the bathroom at work.
An Australian marked on a map of London all the places she’d like to fuck me
- parks, landmarks, by the river, on her desk. We managed half of them.
A Japanese girl asked me if my flat mate and I would cum on her face, as
she’d always dreamed of this.
90% of the girls I’ve slept with have turned out to have a higher sex drive than
They can fuck for hours, in all locations and positions.
Once the angelic mask has been dropped, women will want to do as
many adventurous things as you do. I’ve fingered girls in bars, had blowjobs
in café toilets, licked girls out on office floors.
Most girls have a secret drawer with a vibrator, some lubricant and often other
Their love of sexy underwear and costumes goes way beyond the male mind.
Many times I’ve just been horny and wanted a quick hard fuck, while the girl
has dressed up for me, given me a long massage and wants to talk dirty.
Do I therefore view women as ‘sluts’ or ‘whores’?
Of course not, I in fact feel the complete opposite. It’s so healthy
and satisfying to be able to be open and honest with girls in a sexual way.
If you could hear girls talk about sex, it would literally blow your mind.
Hard Sex
Literally every girl I’ve slept with wants hard sex.
By ‘hard’, I don't mean pounding her with full force until she's sore. I mean
masculine sex.
She wants to be thrown on the bed and ravaged.
She wants to be pushed up against the wall and take it deeply.
She wants me to bend her over the chair and fuck her for hours.
She wants me to put my hand in her mouth and whisper dirty talk into her ear.
She wants me to lick her out and make her cum with my tongue.
She wants me to slap her ass and run my nails down her back.
She wants me to pull her hair and push her shoulders down.
She wants me to finger her so that she screams with pleasure.
She might want slow, gentle ‘love-making’, morning sex too, but she
mainly wants it hard.
The myth of the ‘lights out missionary position’ satisfying girls sexually is
bullshit. The only girls I’ve met who would prefer this to anything else have
been the shy ones who are very inexperienced in the bedroom.
Soon they’re longing for what most women want – long, hard, passionate sex
So why is there this discrepancy between the Disney Sex view that 99% of
men believe and the reality of the Hard Sex that women actually enjoy?
No experience of the real world. They aren’t going to tell you this shit in Men’s
Health magazine.
The missionary position is named just that because of Christian
missionaries who believed that this was the only ‘clean’ way to have sex.
Tell that to a cave man.
Once again, films, books and fairytale stories lead us to believe that
women are delicate creatures who only desire sex when it’s ‘making love.’
Sure, sex can be a wonderfully deep and almost spiritual experience
that unites couples who are in love, but equally sex can just be something
that human beings do, like eating or sleeping.
The connotations attached to it (by religion and society) can be removed
and hard sex is what remains.
A very common female fantasy is being overpowered in a sexual sense.
Of course I’m not talking about non-consensual sex (rape). I’m referring to
the desire for a woman to feel feminine and a man to feel masculine.
Once again, open your biology textbook if you’re not sure.
The irony of this chapter is that you won’t believe me telling you all of this
unless you go out and experience it all for yourself.
Action steps
* Risk losing the next few girls you date by practicing being physical.
* The next girl you fuck, fuck her hard.
* Grab her hair.
* Slap her ass.
* Push your comfort zones in terms of your sexuality by going to fetish and
gay clubs.
* Say the dirtiest stuff you can imagine.
* Combine the missionary position with as many others as possible.
* Do something crazy like finger her on a bus.
* Try fucking whilst standing.
* Pick her up and throw her on your bed.
* Ask her ‘You wanted this, didn’t you?’
* If her body language is saying yes but her mind is saying no, just put
her hand on your (hard) cock.
For more information on how to ignite sex with a girl and keep her cumming
back for more, sign up to the email list at
Mistake 4. Male/Female Polarity
Blurring of the polarity
A massive problem that's escalated in the last hundred years in the west
is that this clear-cut male-female polarity has been blurred, and has
even become lost. It’s become especially prevalent in countries like the UK,
North America and Australia.
Women have more power and choice when it comes to sex because men
desire casual, no strings-attached sex with multiple partners. Research (in
The Buss Evolutionary Psychology Lab) has found that men lower their
standards for casual sexual encounters.
In short, the majority of men are ruled by their dicks. The opposite is true for
women; because of the amount of offers they have they maintain high
standards when it comes to sex.
It’s a universal truth that the more valuable the resource the more people want
it, therefore more people chase and compete for it. Men must be competitive
and compete with each other for sexual access to women. Women have the
luxury of being choosy since they are in greater demand when it comes to
You only need to walk into a nightclub on a Friday or Saturday night to see a
real life example of this. Look around and you’ll see creepy drunk guys leering
up to girls in a feeble attempt to speak to them.
There will be a wall of men watching, peeling the labels off their beer bottles
because they are so sexually frustrated and don’t know what to do about it.
There will be guys doing the ‘chode grind’ (See Anna’s video on Youtube
about what a chode is, if you don’t know) up to girls in an attempt to flirt.
All of these things go against what it is to be a man. Guys like this are
suppressing their desires and are a shell of themselves. It’s unfortunate and
we’ve all been there.
This is no way to live, though.
Facing your fear
Men have become more and more anxious about speaking to women. This
can happen for a multitude of reasons; social pressure is often the biggest
If a guy were alone with a girl in a bar, he would go speak to her.
Surrounded by other people and the man’s brain suddenly becomes an expert
at coming up with reasons not to approach. Men will often drink to get past
this anxiety and this never helps. Men need to learn how to approach women
in the cold light of day.
A real masculine man who knows the truth will realise the fears are all in his
head. Fears are nothing more than ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ as a
famous man once said.
Until you go and test your boundaries (in any area of your life), you will never
know what you are capable of. Until you’ve gone up and dragged a girl out of
a group of guys on the dance floor, approached a woman on the street,
approached a woman in the supermarket, in a library, at a bus stop, in a park,
in a bar, at a coffee shop, at an airport, on a beach and hundreds of other
places – you have NO IDEA what your fears are.
‘We see the world not as it is, but as you are.’ Think about this quote and
you’ll start to realise you have to see your own life as a science experiment.
To be a man means testing his boundaries and creating his own world in
which he pulls others.
Men want to feel like men and women want to feel like women. We were born
this way. There is nothing more attractive to me than a girl with abundant
feminine energy; her smile lights up the room and you can just feel her
warmth when you hold her.
The same is true for women. There is nothing more attractive than a man who
knows who he is, he gets want he wants and realises his masculine power.
Nightclubs, bars, magazines, TV and film put beautiful women on a pedestal
and reinforce the concept that they are the choosers. Men don't know how to
approach and attract women anymore. The simplicity of A + B = C has been
lost with men scared to let women know how they feel about them.
A vast number of men feel lost and helpless when it comes to dating. For
How to meet girls.
What to say.
How to get her phone number.
What to do on a date.
How to take it from talking to seduction and the bedroom.
How to keep her around.
Men get some ridiculous advice from magazines like Men’s Health or Yahoo!
It’s all bullshit and written by married middle-aged people who spend time
guessing at the truth.
All the ‘skills’ we need as men to date women are already hard-wired inside
us, but society has covered them up with layers of confusion, fear and
misinformation. Men worry about revealing their true feelings and desires in
case society labels them as ‘sexist’ or even ‘perverted.’
At the other end of the polarity, women are feeling frustrated and confused,
asking themselves ‘where are all the real men?’ In terms of dating, they're fed
up with effeminate guys who can't make decisions, don't want to lead, and
don’t want to escalate. This is where the idea of ‘women loving bad boys’
comes from. It's not the bad behaviour they enjoy; it's the masculine traits
regarding sex that these guys still have.
What is ‘masculine’?
Men misunderstand what an ‘alpha male’ is. You got ideas from your dad,
from school, from society's image of men. You think you have to lift weights at
the gym, show no emotion, get tattoos, ride a motorbike, start to hate women
as a reaction to former relationships gone wrong. Some men go to the
extreme as a reaction to their former needy selves.
You can be a weedy guy – just look at Russell Brand. Behavioural traits are
the most important. The reason why Russell Brand has done so well with
woman is that his reality is so strong, and women can’t help but be pulled into
it. He leads, he lets them know what he wants and he lives in abundance.
So what really defines masculinity?
1. A man who leads. A man who makes it clear he's in control without being
an arrogant dick.
2. Aggressiveness towards goals. Is focused on his own life and goes after
what he wants with determination and courage.
3. A logical thinker. Provides logical thinking to counter the feminine emotional
thought process.
4. Lives a rich, colourful, balanced life where sex is just one part of it.
5. Emotionally strong and resilient.
6. Fearless. Takes risks in every aspect of his life in order to better himself.
7. 110% self-belief.
8. Lives a life of abundance (is the buyer not the seller in everything).
To have access to the feminine, you have to cultivate the masculine. You can
only do this if you are fired with passion and energy. This comes down to one
thing… what are you dedicating your life to?
As we mentioned in the first chapter, women are so much more intuitive than
men and she’ll know within minutes if you are dedicating your life to
something worthwhile. If you are not happy with something in your life, you
simply must change it.
When you walk up to a woman, she picks things up on a micro level. If you
are able to communicate with assurance that you are a man on a path to get
what he wants, then you’ll do well.
Women want to be taken by a man. They want someone who is confident,
takes what he wants and shows his intent. She wants to be swept off her feet
in a masculine sandstorm.
Action steps
* Learn to lead at every stage of the dating ritual - tell a women you find her
attractive, start a conversation, get her phone number, text her, set up a date,
kiss her, take her to your house, sit her on your bed, be the one to start sex. If
she is leading at any one of these points, then something's wrong.
* Have clear boundaries when it comes to dating - behaviour that you will and
won't accept. If she crosses those boundaries then be honest and let her
know. Always implement B.O.B - Boundaries on Bullshit. If she plays games,
tell her. If she keeps re-arranging the date, tell her. If she's late, tell her. If she
just wants to be your friend, tell her. Don't get aggressive or reactive, just say
it as it is. This is what I want and this behaviour is not acceptable.
* Increase the things in your life that make you feel masculine. I'm not saying
you have to be ‘alpha’ and dress like a Hells Angel. I'm talking about your
core sense of self. Exercise, eat well, have goals, face your fears, take on
challenges. Once you tap into your biological self, you'll be amazed how the
layers of mental confusion disappear. Something simple like going for a 5k
run can instantly make you feel more alive and get the testosterone flowing.
* Get a clear path of where you are going in life and change your daily habits
to fit with this. A woman knows if you are adding value to the world or taking it.
Start doing something that you are really passionate about.
* Fuck girls harder. Hard fucking re-adjusts mixed polar opposites that have
become blurred in society. Girls loved to be fucked hard and the sooner you
start doing it – the sooner you’ll feel more masculine when you go about your
Mistake 5. Not taking enough action
Why you're not taking action
I bet you’ve made big plans to do something before. ‘I’m going to do THIS,
this year.’ You never did it, did you?
You probably read all the Tony Robbins self-help books saying that if you just
imagine a vision of yourself doing this, then it will come true.
If only you wrote down your goals, then they would magically just appear in
your life.
I used to write down that I was going to learn Spanish, buy a house at the end
of the year and speak to many more girls in order to get a girlfriend.
For two or three years I did this and I don’t think even half of my goals came
Many other people do this too. What most people never realise is that the
reason why these goals don’t come true is that you don’t believe with 1000%
utter conviction that you can achieve them.
My self-image didn’t match with what I wanted to achieve.
Your self-image is the mental blueprint of who you think you are. It is a mental
construct of your successes and failures. It's everything we are, formed since
early childhood. Once an idea or belief about ourselves becomes true, we
accept this to be true.
Our self-image has governance over everything we do; our thoughts, our
actions and our belief in our own abilities. It has all the control over how much
success, happiness, joy, passion and satisfaction we have in our lives.
Positive thinking is of no use if your self-image doesn't accept it to be true. No
amount of will power can help you to think positively if your self-image won't
accept it.
For example, you might have the self-image of a lazy person. This has been
embedded in you since the age of 10 years old, how will you become a
productive person?
Unless you start changing what you think your self-image is capable of then
you have absolutely no chance of moving forward in life.
In the world of self-development everything stems from what you think about
yourself. Your self-image has grown from a young age, through your teenage
years and into your adult life.
Every reaction from all the people you’ve ever met in your life goes on to build
your self-image as it becomes denser with every year that passes.
Will power has nothing to do with your ability to change. If you have the selfimage of a lazy person then no amount of will power will change you – you
have to change your self-image. If you have the self-image of a disorganised
person then no amount of will power will bring you to be more organised.
Are you beginning to see how the image you have of yourself is fundamental
to the way you ultimately behave and go through life?
What kind of person do you see yourself as?
To get the girlfriend you want, you have to see yourself as a man of action.
You must become a man who takes opportunities and moves forward in life, a
man who focuses on his successes and not his failures.
There are probably two main reasons why you’ve never taken action to get
the girlfriend you want…
1. You didn’t know where to start (this book acts as a starting point on your
2. You have never fully believed you were capable of getting the girl you really
want in your life.
Belief is absolutely fundamental when getting anything you want in life,
whether it is a girlfriend or a new job.
Cultivating belief and conviction can only come through action and
When Thomas Edison started making light bulbs, he had 1000% conviction
that he was going to achieve it. He made over 1000 mistakes but he knew he
would get there in the end.
This book, and all the information on, is here for
you to eliminate as many mistakes as possible but, of course, you will still
make some mistakes.
We want to cut down your learning process and give you the guide to getting
the girlfriend you want and living the life that you want to live.
How to change your self-image
The process of changing your self-image is not an overnight job. It’s taken you
years to build who you are and it’s going to take time to undo all the stuff you
don’t need.
Neither is it so hard to change your self-image. There are exercises and
methods to go about changing who you are.
The fundamentals of learning to re-invent yourself come from using the power
of your creative imagination in a relaxed, playful way. The skill of becoming
your best self comes easier with practice.
One of the key fundamentals in building your best self is to remember that
mistakes are meant to happen. Failure is a good thing as it puts you back on
the right course. It's important to associate pleasurable feelings with so-called
With finding a girlfriend this could mean that a girl travels across the world and
can't see you anymore, she could like another guy more than you, you might
fail on approaching her, she might tell you she just wants to be friends, she
might not return your calls or texts - it could be any number of reasons why it
doesn't work out for you. It could even be after 6 months or a year that it
doesn't work and you have to start again.
A guided missile knows its target but it's constantly correcting itself. It requires
constant negative feedback in order to reach its target.
This is exactly the same inside our heads. We should be thankful for feelings
of failure, discouragement and frustration as these things take us nearer and
nearer the goals we want to achieve.
These feelings of heartache with a girl should only last a very short time.
These disappointments should motivate you to move forward and be the
better you.
It's time to get creative when you feel these feelings; find a way past your
problems and live the day as fully as you can.
Conjuring instant confidence
When approaching a girl, or going on a date, or getting down to it in the
bedroom - you are going to need confidence and you might not have it at that
exact moment.
Girls are looking for a guy with confidence, a guy who knows what he wants
and who knows who he is.
If you don't have it at one particular moment then you better learn to conjure it
up pretty quick!
Good news is that there is one way you can.
The key is using your imagination to remember a time when you were
confident. Most people's mind will fret on negative things. For example:
When you are about to approach a girl on the street:
- Oh no, she looks busy.
- She's too pretty for me.
- She won't speak English.
- She's on the phone.
- She's walking too fast.
- People will think I am weird to speak to her.
At night:
- She won't hear me over the music.
- She's drunk.
- She has too many friends around her.
- I'm not attractive enough.
- I need the toilet.
- I don't have the right energy.
On a first date:
- When shall I kiss her?
- Does she like me?
- Her body language is rubbish.
- She doesn't like me.
- Why won't she look at me?
- What if she rejects me?
At speed dating:
- Ah, this is like an interview.
- I'm not that interesting.
- These guys are better looking than me.
In the bedroom:
- If I show I want sex then she'll think I just want her for sex.
- If I get my cock out she'll think I'm crazy.
- Shouldn't this be romantic?
- My penis is too small, she will laugh.
- When shall I go for it?
- Am I really allowed to touch her down there?
- What if I lose my erection?
To conquer all these unimportant thoughts you just need to recreate a time in
your mind where you did these things.
Replay that moment in your mind over and over again and repeat the words 'I
am confident' whilst you are seeing yourself do what you did.
If you don't have any reference points in your mind for the task you are about
to undertake then you need to create a synthetic experience in your mind.
Most people let their minds wander unfocused and they are like the walking
dead. It's important to use your imagination constructively.
If you have the opportunity at the beginning of the day, take the time to calm
your body before you do these exercises. Lie down or sit down and tighten up
all the muscles in your body (one by one) and then tighten up all the muscles
in your body at the same time, then relax.
You'll find your mind being really calm.
Take this moment to adjust your breathing and start your imagination with
what you want to be successful at that day. It could be approaching a woman,
it could be going on a date, it could even be doing some work - it doesn't have
to be restricted to women.
Create a vision
An important quote: ‘What the mind can believe, the mind can achieve.’
Whatever limitations you have put on yourself, they will come true. If you free
yourself from the shackles of your own mind then you can have whatever you
The same is in business, your life, your relationships and money as it is with
the girl that you want.
Do you really know what kind of women you want in the centre of your life?
Have you taken the time to write down what you want in a girlfriend?
Here is the vision I wrote a few years ago:
‘The girl I'm with is so beautiful that it takes my breath away. She has this
foreign look that just makes me melt. Her eyes take me place I've never been
before and her passionate touch is just unbelievable. She kisses my neck and
back with so much passion it fires up my soul. Her kiss is like pure silk.
Her smile is so infectious that it lights up the whole room when she walks into
it. She knows her own mind as she meditates and can see the positive truth in
every situation.
Her body is heavenly. She has the best legs in the world and her breasts are
perfect. Wow. She keeps herself fit by dancing and going to the gym. We
absolutely love to dance together. She eats so well and treats her body like a
We have amazing conversations together. We are both always trying
something new in our lives so there is always something to talk about. She
goes deep into conversation and is not afraid to say what she thinks and is
always honest and forward in her thinking. We never argue and we always
have the ability to be completely open with each other without any kind of
She loves everything about me, wholeheartedly and never questions it.’
Just from meeting women soon after this, I added:
* She’s incredibly ambitious and wants to move forward all the time.
* She can live in the moment like nobody I’ve ever met and it feels like this
ALL the time that I’m with her.
* She has huge feminine energy and warmth that is incredibly rare.
* She’s genuinely funny and makes me laugh.
* She realises that it’s important for me to feel masculine and she knows to
give me that role in the relationship.
* The sex we have is astonishing. We both give so much and can talk so
much about it.
* She wants to travel.
The whole process of meeting more women makes you realise what you do
and don’t want. It makes you pickier. You start becoming the buyer and not
the seller. This is incredibly powerful!
What do you want in a girl? Set high levels for yourself and for her. If she
doesn’t reach them, then get rid of her.
Do something about it. Get a pen out or open an email and write yourself what
you want in a woman.
Make a whole life plan; what do you want to start achieving outside the realms
of the dating world?
On we teach that you need to have a full,
rounded life in order to get the girlfriend you want.
Walk towards that vision with a plan.
Top quality girls want a guy who has their life on the right track. A guy that is
aware of his own sense of worth. A confident guy.
You can't get that by playing World of Warcraft and wanking four times a day.
Apologies for the shocking and debilitating news.
There isn't a truer quote than Samuel Smiles:
‘Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap
a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.’
Your thought right now should be focused on the vision you want for your
life. Your action right now should be to write out this plan.
You then will sow this action plan and reap a HABIT, which will then build a
character and then you'll reap the destiny you want.
All this is built upon your re-imagined self-image.
Use your vision to pull you.
For me, I think it's great to concentrate on three things to get a handle on your
life. So it might be:
1. Getting a girlfriend.
2. Improving your career/business/finances.
3. Learning a new skill - meditation, salsa, tango, learning a language.
It's possible to add a fourth thing but you'll have to be very, very diligent with
your time and avoid any time wastage.
I'd also include eating healthy, improving your fitness (even if it's 20 minutes a
day) and having a good social life as main staples to include constantly in
your life.
It's pivotal that you keep a balance in your life and don't go too heavily
towards one thing. If you went out approaching girls for 40 hours a week,
something is wrong. The rest of your life is going to suffer.
It's pretty simple to make a plan, just...
1. List all the things you want to achieve over the next year.
2. Make a daily action plan that helps you achieve those goals.
So here is my daily plan:
You should always have set things to do in your day. Start with minimum
things. If you are just starting to approach women on the street, start with one
approach a day.
Learn more about how you can meet women at
If you are starting to work on your fitness, start with 10 minutes a day and
build it up to 20 or 30 minutes.
Small actions become bigger actions. These actions then become a habit and
a permanent part of your character.
You have to get military on yourself in terms of discipline. If you are not a
disciplined person then you need to work on re-imagining your self-image to
make sure you become one.
You're going to die
Life is very short; don’t waste it doing things you don’t want to do. Make sure
to schedule things into your week that you do like to do. It’ll make you a
happier and more productive person.
The fact is, you are going to die and the more you realise that, the better.
If you live to 80, you get 29,220 days on this earth and that is nothing.
How many more days can you live not living like you should?
When you die there will be…
No chance to kick a football again.
No chance to laugh with your friends.
No more chances to speak to that girl you want to speak to.
No chance to pick up your baby boy.
No more chances to say you love the people around you.
No chance to take the career path you wanted to take.
No chance to be the person you want to be.
No chance to kiss your girl, no chance to feel her body.
No chance to taste her body, no chance to dance with her.
No chance to make her breakfast in the morning.
No chance to hold her hand.
No chance to give her the children she wants.
No chance to take back those wasted days.
No chance to connect with people you didn't connect with.
No chance not to succumb to the system of working that everyone does.
No chance to get out of the rat race.
No more chances to travel to the places you want to travel.
No chance to do the charity work you should have done.
No chance to show compassion to your fellow human being.
No chance to build the self-image you want to have.
No chance to learn to dance properly.
No chance to make that phone call you should have made to make up with a
friend over nothing.
No chance to build the body you wanted to have.
No chance to take action, no chance to live.
No chance to connect with nature.
No chance to build peace in the world.
No chance to end the suffering.
No chance to let money not be something you need.
No chance to let materialism go.
No chance to realise that looks don’t matter at all.
No more chances to give love like you never have done before.
No chance to live where you want to live.
No chance to create what you want to create.
No chance to be the change in the world that you want to see...
I could go on forever. And your list of excuses will go on forever too.
You are going to die.
Take this notification as a good thing.
Because, now you ARE alive. Now you are able to take action on all the
things you want to see in your world. Together this world can be something
You are capable of anything you want to achieve.
Whatever the human mind can believe, it can achieve.
And that means you can achieve anything you want to achieve.
Focus on your past successes and tell yourself that you are confident. Re-live
them in your mind.
This is the formula for success.
Take action now. Take one small step. Just one and then keep taking a small
step each day. Stop living like you are going to live forever. You aren't. is all about taking action. We’ll see you there!
Bonus: Questions to ask yourself.
Write down the answers to all these questions…
What things in life make you happy?
What are you passionate about?
What are your fears?
What kind of girl do you want in your life? (Looks, personality, job etc.)
What are you going to do to get her? (For ideas visit
What time frame are you giving yourself? (A month, a year etc.)
What are the biggest mistakes that you've made over and over with girls?
How are you going to work on these mistakes?
What ways are there that you could expand your social circle?
What things are you already really good at?
What new skills do you want to learn? (A language, a sport, a hobby etc.)
How are you going to fit these things into your daily plan in order to learn
Where do you want to travel?
What words do you want people to say about you at your funeral?
What do you want to change about your appearance? (Weight, glasses, acne,
fashion etc.)
How can you make these changes to your appearance?
What do you do to keep fit and healthy?
What changes do you need to make to your diet?
What is your dream job/career? How can you get it?
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