7.8.6 Sample65 - JonesHistory.net

Compare the impacts of the Civil War on New York State and Georgia.
The state of New York during the American Civil War was a major. New York was the most
populous state in the Union during the Civil War, and provided more troops to the Union Army
than any other state.
The press and media of the state (especially in New York City) influenced the public's view on
the war and helped shape national opinion.
In the decades after the war ended, many monuments were put up across the Empire State.
There were draft riots in NYS.
During the war, Georgia sent nearly 100,000 men to battle, mostly to the Virginian armies. The
state switched from cotton to food production. Near the end of the war, much of 1400 miles
of railroad track lay in ruins or in Union hands.
The Confederates built several small munitions factories in Georgia (They thought it would
never be invaded). Tens of thousands of Union prisoners were held in Georgia and the largest
prisoner of war camp was at Andersonville.
Why is this only worth “65”?
Informational Compositions:
 Topic undeveloped.
 Limited supporting information.
 Language use is simple; domain-specific
vocabulary absent where expected.
 Writing is mostly descriptive, not analytical.
Argument Compositions:
 Two claims are only minimally supported.
 May have inadequate command of the topic.
 Opposing claim under-developed.
 Lacks domain-specific vocabulary
What could make it worth more?
Add more details (names, dates, events).
Add more analysis (cause and effect, compare and
contrast, categorize or group ideas).
Replace simple phrases with domain-specific
For arguments, develop the case more fully by
saying why things you assert are true.